Bandaids and Bunnies

                              
I'm lying in a big bed next to a little boy who has a bad cold and is on his first dose of allergy medicine...he's suppose to be napping, but the non-drowsy (oops) allergy medicine has his spirits flying high as a kite, and I'm not sure I'm going to get a snoozer out of him today.  (Said boy just did a somersault across my bed...yeah, not thinking the nap is going to happen today!) So I'll try and make this quick, but I wanted to slip in an update before the weekend...

We had a really, really good meeting this morning with our neonatologist, and there's no doubt in our mind its the result of all the prayer we were covered in.  I'm so thankful to say that the meeting went well, because I wasn't expecting it to after such a heavy week, and lo, and behold, the appointment I was most dreading turned out to be the most encouraging. 

You really shouldn't be able to walk out of an appointment where you talked about the things we did and say that it was a good meeting, but it was- it really, really was.  The Hubs and I left with such peace, and everything discussed was made crystal clear- it was such a relief to leave a conversation about Jubilee feeling at peace and confident in our understanding of the situation.  We met with an awesome doctor and a really sweet social worker (Hi, Lisa!) who left me wondering where the awesome social worker component has been for the past month and a half in all the conference rooms we've been in, because it made such a difference to have her there and have someone caring for our hearts as well as our heads in this situation.   She knew about Newbie's experience in the INICU when he was born, and she was so good about helping us think through all the important things for our little family, even going as far as to suggest we keep an extra eye on Newbie and make sure he's got someone looking out for his little heart when the Hubs and I aren't able to be 100% there for him emotionally as we continue on this journey. I was so grateful for her help and insight, and I can't say enough that it was just a good experience overall.

Thank you so, so much for covering this morning in prayer, because it certainly made all the difference.  God showed up in a BIG way, and we left feeling so encouraged and at peace.

He is good, isn't He?

Nothing's changed.  Jubilee's prognosis hasn't changed.  There wasn't any good news.  But God is still good in the bad news, and we felt His peace and were gifted with His wisdom this morning.   We are so grateful to say we came out on the other side of our appointment feeling much better about our understanding of how things will go when Jubilee is born and what steps we need to take moving forward.

When we got home, we took Newbie out for a special afternoon.  I completely swiped this idea from Angie Smith, who did the same thing with her daughters when she found out while pregnant that her sweet daughter was sick like our Jubilee.  Angie has been such an encouragement to me on this journey, and I've learned so much from her about what it means to trust Jesus through the hard stuff.  I can't recommend her blog or her book, I Will Carry You enough for someone walking the road I am or for anyone who is walking with someone facing infant loss- she's an excellent author, and her daughter's story is so encouraging.

The Hubs and I have wanted to include Newbie in the life of his little sister, but we've had a hard time figuring out what to do to help him understand that Jubilee is with us now, but that she may go to be with Jesus and Eden and not be here anymore after a while. So this afternoon, inspired by Angie's idea, we stopped by a toy shop in town with Newbie and picked out a little stuffed animal to bring home with us. The one we chose (after much debate on my part and much running around the toy store on Newbie's part) was a sweet tiny white fluffy bunny with two ears that stuck straight up.  Bunnies make me think of spring and summer and Newbie has been enthralled with the bunnies in our yard lately.  Bunnies make us happy.  I smiled when I realized the little bunny we picked out was probably very close to the size our Jubilee is right now.  It made the fit even more perfect.  The Hubs carried Newbie to the counter, and Newbie handed the bunny over to the clerk who stuck it in a pink paper bag after Newbie told her it was for his little sister.

When we came home from the store, I took out some of Newbie's bandaids (Hello, Lightening McQueen) and made it simple.  I told Newbie that Jubilee has some owies on her chest and her head.  I told him we were going to put some bandaids on the bunny on the places where Jubilee has owies so we can remember to pray for her.  (He was really into the bandaids, which have the appeal of a sticker and the stick of super glue-fabulous combination for an almost-two year old).

 After we adorned Jubilee's bunny with some seriously rad Lightening McQueen bandaids, we prayed for Jubilee's lungs and her skull, asking Jesus to heal her.

We know God will heal our sweet Jubilee one way or another, whether its through a miracle here, or full healing in Heaven.  Our plan is that after Jubilee has been healed, we're going to have Newbie take off her bandaids and explain that Jubilee's bunny doesn't need bandaids anymore because Jesus has taken away all Jubilee's owies and she is all better- all Jubilee's owies are gone!  Oh, how it brings my heart such joy to know that someday, here or There, all our girl's "owies" will be healed! 

I'm excited to have a concrete way to explain to Newbie what's going on with his little sister. He knows Jubilee is sick and may go to be with Jesus and Eden in Heaven, but that's a really abstract idea for a little heart.  Bandaids and bunnies, however, are not. =)

We found a special spot on a little shelf in our living room to set Jubilee's bunny- a place where we will see it often and remember to pray together for our sweet baby.  Around the bunny's neck I attached a couple precious charms I was given last weekend, one angel charm from Mutte, my grandmother, and another silver charm with Jubilee's name on it from the Hubs' grandmother.  Special somethings for a special bunny belonging to a very special baby.

Thank you again for all of the thoughts and prayers today.  The Hubs and I are just so blown away by the peace we've felt all day today, and we know its because our God is good, He is showing up when we need Him to, and He hears the prayers of His people.  Thank you, thank you for interceding on our behalf. 

Hugs to you all, and happy weekending!

Brittany

(Classic big brother move...he wouldn't be filling his role as big bro if he didn't swipe Jubilee's toy and whip it around a few times! =])