I need to rent a Princess Leia costume.

Today was a good day.

I bought groceries.

I fed the dog.

I cleaned the house.

I unloaded the dishwasher.

I took out the trash.

Then I got the mail.

Oh no.

Judicial Circuit?!?

Oh no. It's probably from those animal police on TLC. They know about how I sprayed Opie with a water gun because I didn't have a tazer yesterday when he started to rip up the ottoman. Sheesh.

Or it's from the cashier at the grocery store today. She turned me in for buying vanilla yogurt covered raisins instead of the cereal my husband asked for.

I knew I had it coming.

I opened the letter.

Woohoo! They don't know about the water gun. And the lady at the grocery store isn't a tattle tale. They just want me to report for jury duty.

On my son's due date.

When I read the letter my face got hot, and my hands got sweaty, and I had an instant fantasy of dressing up as Princess Leia just like Liz Lemon did on that episode of 30 Rock to avoid jury duty.


"And I don't really think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I'm a hologram..."

So I need to rent a Princess Leia costume. It's the only solution I can see to this problem. I just can't believe I'd make a good juror with these pregnancy hormones bringing out all my crazy.

Or I could just call to postpone the date.

Not sure which plan I'll go with, but in the meantime, I'm going to go toss in a load of laundry and down a few vanilla yogurt covered raisins. Maybe see if I can get a couple side buns going with my hair too.

Princess Leia, over and out.

Good Morning, Opie

Opie's life around here is tough.

[Yawn] Wake up from a snoozer. [Yawn]

[Yawn] Stretch. [Yawn]

Run a few laps around the living room.

Gnaw on a bone.

Do something naughty.

Hey. Don't eat Mom's popcicle. She needs that. And those Oreos over there. And probably that cup of yogurt too. Come to think of it, get Mom a bowl of Lucky Charms, would ya?

Hurry and hide before Dad can find you.

Hold position...

Steady...

And when the coast is clear...

Repeat.

Bugs took a hot bath. A really hot bath.

I'd like to first say that Bugs bit the dust last night. He went from Tupperware to the Crock Pot and was filling the house with the aroma of my childhood slow-cooked when I walked in the door last night. What that sneaky hubs will do when he is at home with the dog and free from supervision. It scares me to think what will happen when I'm gone and there are three men in this house. Havemercy. If he starts cooking my Gummi Bears up for dinner, there will be words.

Today was a semi/mediocre/kinda productive day. I say that because there were three bouts of productivity between elongated bouts of napping, catching up on the lame-O Bachelor, and blogging. The three bouts resulted in the following:

1)A clean and organized pantry. This was a little scary. The Hubs lived here for 3 years as a bachelor with various roommates before I moved in when we got married, and I found a package of Ramen Noodles that expired in what looked like another decade. Just lucky that's all I found in addition to some Sour Patch Kids I had forgotten about that were a little more than crusty.

2) A call to the doc to request him as my son's pediatrician. I thought I'd have to file some paper work or haul my cookies all the way to his office and talk with him. But the sweet lady on the phone said all I have to do is write his name down since the fam are already patients at the office. Who knew! Bought be a whole extra hour to catch up on Facebook today.

3) A clean and organized junk drawer. I have never seen so many batteries.

That's it. With the exception of a few loads of laundry (plus or minus 10).

So tonight we have big plans to really send Friday out with a bang. Hamburger stroganoff and Band of Brothers with the possibility of some Season 9 Scrubs mixed in for good measure. Ah, I love a good Friday night after a painstakingly long day of hard work. Mmm...

The Week In Review

Monday:
I worked for half a day and took the little girls I watch to the library. There I discovered the joy of potty training. I had no one to blame but myself when things went awry because for crying out loud why wasn't I watching for that face?!? I should have seen it coming. Rats. 20 minutes and a plastic bag later, we were good to go. Nothing a little trip to the candy store couldn't soothe. For all three of us. I'm lying. We didn't go to the candy store. But boy, did I want to.

Tuesday:

Nannied for a sweet little boy that is about 20 pounds heavier than what I am capable of comfortably lifting up to a changing table. Nannying is a rough go for the pregnant lady. We played with Mr. Potato head to ease the pain. There may or may not have been some Sesame Street involved as well.


Wednesday:

Noteworthy event A) Nannied for the little guy again. The theme of the day was scribble with crayons and a little game I like to call "Let me throw this ball and see how many times this 20 month old will run to go get it." He lasted for 30 minutes. THIRTY MINUTES. Sweet goodness, I don't know what I'm going to do when I have a little man running around who has the energy to chase a ball around the house for a solid thirty minutes. Good practice, I suppose.


Noteworthy event B) After nannying, hit up BK for the dreaded exploding fry/nasty burger extravaganza. Before discovering the hap-hazard condition of my meal, however, the hubs and I had to wait a while in the drive-thru line. Where this duck taunted him. Hard core taunting. The Hubs broke out into a sweat just thinking about how much he'd like to have crammed Daffy into the backseat and given him a proper home next to Bugs in the Tupperware. HA. I laughed. Because burgers and fries are so much better than ducks and just look at how smug that guy is.



Noteworthy event C) After gagging down the nastiest fast food experience known to date, we headed out to childbirth class. Where the Hubs had too much fun. Now presenting, class clown and the father of my children. If I hadn't spent the last 6 years enjoying watching how great he is with living breathing children, I would be worried. The fact is, if we ever have daughters, they are going to have to stash their dolls in the closet.


Thursday:

I nannied again for the girls and took them on an ambitious trip to the mall. Seven dollars and fifty cents worth of Chinese food and four hours of walking later, we all looked at each other like we were going to drop right there in the middle of the mall. Gymboree and BabyGap and the Bacon & Eggs kids play area took a lot out of us. I slept like a rock that night.

Friday:

Big accomplishments. Big plans. See my next post for more details. =) Below is the view I have as I write this. So happy the hubs continues to shed the pounds as I pick them up off the floor under him and slap them onto my waistline. It really is my pleasure to eat his share of dessert tonight. (*Please note the orange hat. Always a hunter, folks. Always a hunter.)

Grubs

Tonight we swung by Burger King to grab a nutritionally balanced meal before our childbirth class. I wish I could say I thoroughly enjoyed my burger and fries, but I can't. Because I didn't.

As we drove off (me behind the wheel), I snatched a fry out of the bag and bit into it. OH. MY. GROSS. As I chomped down on one end of the fry, the opposite end of the fry literally EXPLODED OFF and splattered all over the window. Splattered. "How does a fry splatter?", you ask?

It doesn't.

It wasn't a fry. It was a grease filled something or other that reminded me of the grubs and bugs I have seen Bear Grylls take a hunk out of and squirt half way across the Amazon rain forest. OH. GROSS. And that was my dinner.

As if the exploding juiced-up fry wasn't bad enough, when I got home, I opened my hamburger bun to find a chunk taken out of the patty. A bite-shaped chunk. Really. It happened. Being the grouchy, starved, and crazed pregnant woman that I was by that time, I ripped off the piece of patty in question and choked down the rest.

Then we left for class. With a spoon and a mug full of milk and Lucky Charms.

And now that I've filled you in with the riveting tale of my latest fast food experience, I have to ask:

Is it Friday yet?

24

Happy Monday

Pink

Welcome to the girliest face lift this blog has ever seen.

It's gloomy today.

I needed some pink.