Loving with Abandon

 I was really hoping to write about this on Christmas this year and post a cute picture that would bring lots of smiles...but I'm learning that my plans aren't always the same ones God has in mind. =)  

And I'm starting to think it makes more sense to share as we celebrate Thanksgiving anyway.  We've got lots to be thankful for this year because.......

I'm pregnant!

(Newbie giving Baby a hug and kiss)

And we are so, so thankful!

We were thrilled to find out we were pregnant with another little bugger after we lost Eden this summer.  We were thrilled to be able to tell Newbie there was another baby in momma's tummy and to watch him snuggle and hug that little something.  

I figured going into this pregnancy that I would be anxious after losing Eden through a miscarriage at ten weeks.  I was right. =) I knew I had two choices:    

1) I could detach myself from this little baby until we were past the first trimester and out of the major danger zone for miscarriage, hopefully saving myself some heartache.

2) I could love this little baby with abandon, delighting in his little self from the moment we found out about him, and praying fervently for him, anticipating getting to meet him someday soon.

I was tempted to go with option one because it sounded easier and a lot less painful if something were to happen, but then I thought about Eden and the nine weeks we had with her and how I wouldn't have traded those sweet days with my girl for anything. So a month ago when we found out we had Baby #3 in the works, I decided to love this little guy with abandon. We pulled out all the stops.  We talk to him each day.  We pray for him.  Newbie snuggles my belly and offers to share his binky with the "BAYbee" each morning. We picked out an ornament for him and have been tossing around name ideas.

The best way this guy has been loved lately? Newbie woke up in our bed a few days ago, pulled my shirt up over my belly, said, "BAYbee!" and leaned in to give my belly a kiss.  So sweet! Then he sat up and folded his hands, which means he wants to pray.  We thanked Jesus for this baby and asked Him to help our baby grow healthy and strong.   Then we said and "Amen" and clapped like Newbie always does.  This baby is a special part of our little family, and we love him to pieces!

(Blurry, but I had to share- he wants to pray for Baby alll the time!)

Everything was progressing well with my pregnancy until this past week. We were waiting to share our news until we were through the high risk time frame for miscarriage, but I'm a strong believer in the power of prayer, so I wanted to share where we're at right now.  I hopped on to share today with a heavy heart because who wants to announce a pregnancy and an urgent prayer request at the same time?!  But a momma's gotta ask for some prayer, right?! =) 

Here's the scoop: Lately I have had some symptoms that concerned my doctor.  She sent me in for some blood work and ordered an ultrasound.  The Hubs and I were nervous about what we'd find on the ultrasound, but were delighted to see a fluttery little heartbeat on the screen yesterday!  (Praise Jesus!) My breath caught in my throat because we didn't get to see our girl until she had already gone and there was no movement on the screen.  We were so blessed to see our little one while his heart was just pounding away!

At this point, we're facing a situation that could go either way in terms of losing our baby or getting to meet him in July.  He's due the week after we lost Eden- July 13, 2012.  It is good news that we saw a healthy baby on the screen yesterday, but I haven't been feeling well which isn't a good sign, and my doctor made it clear that we are not out of the woods on this. We're taking it day by day and waiting on the Lord to show us what is next.  In the meantime, we are continuing to love on this little guy and celebrate that he's here with us now. 

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. Psalm 27:14

We are hopeful that as we wait, the Lord will allow us to meet this little baby in July, but we don't expect that of Him because we want to fully submit to His will, and we know that His will may not be that we have a healthy baby next summer.  What we do know is that He is good, and He is faithful. What we do expect is that His plans are bigger and greater than ours and that His plans are good.  We expect that regardless of what happens to our little one that God will never leave us to walk this road alone- be it happy or broken- and that because of His goodness, we will meet this little one someday- maybe on this side of Heaven, maybe not. We expect to see His goodness in whatever happens over the next several days, weeks, and months.

And so, we wait.  We wait with hope.  We wait in courage and confidence of God's good plans.  We endure because He knows more, sees more, and loves more than we do, and we know we can trust the One who has been so faithful to us.

Would you pray with us while we wait?  

We would be so blessed by your prayers for our little baby- that God's will would be done and that if it is His will, this sweet baby would continue to grow strong, and that any signs of loss would be stopped. We're at a crossroad right now that leaves opportunity for this baby to still continue to grow and develop, and prayer changes things.  We're so hopeful that health and life is what the Lord has planned for this one.  And we're confident that we will see His goodness even if He has different plans.  Thank you, friends, so very much for your prayers!

I'll share any progress one way or the other as it comes about.  In the meantime, we wait with hopeful hearts and spirits overflowing with thanks for the opportunity to see our little one yesterday and for each day we have to love on him.  

Another thing we're thankful for this year?
This smile:

And these bright blue eyes:

 

Wishing you all a Thanksgiving full of the richest blessings and joys! 

This song came on the radio while I was writing this post.  Yes, please. =)
*Don't forget to mute or pause the music on the player at the bottom of my blog

Thank You

There's a story in the Bible about ten men. One of our pastors shared this story with us today, and it was one that I was familiar with but had forgotten.  It's from Luke 17: 11-19.  There were ten men. They were sick with leprosy, and Jesus miraculously healed them as they walked by Him.  After being healed, nine of the men just kept walking. Only one of the men turned back, fell at Jesus' feet, thanked Him, and praised God for his healing.

The other nine just walked away.  They never came back. They took the gift they had been given and just kept on going.

The one took the gift, stayed, and couldn't stop thanking Jesus.

I don't want to stop thanking Jesus.  For everything.  Every gift. All the time.

I don't want to be the nine showered in blessing who continue to walk without expressing any gratitude. I want to have eyes to see Him in everything- I want to be aware of each and every gift He's given me, and to thank Him for the gifts.

(image found here)

So tonight, when Newbie was crying at the top of his lungs in his crib after I laid him down for bed, instead of banging my head against the wall and mentally begging that child to JUST GO TO SLEEP, I went into his room, and  I watched his little body calm with my return.  Two arms resting on the edge of the crib, I looked down and whispered that I loved him.  One of his arms clutched his blankie, his binky clicked with each little suck of his tongue, and one little hand reached up from where he lay in his bed and waited.  His tiny palm hung in the air until I offered my hand and his tightened around mine as he brought it close to his chest.  Then his heavy eyes closed.  His grip was firm, his soft face peaceful as he lulled off to sleep.  I stood there, drinking in my boy's sweetness and realizing God was giving me eyes to see- to see the gift. I was exhausted and tired, but nothing was going to keep me from reveling in the blessing that is my son. As I leaned against the crib, holding hands with my sweet baby, I thanked Jesus over and over again for my boy.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for this boy, Lord.  Thank you for his soft hands and his tiny breaths, and his sweet personality.  Thank you for this gift.    Thank you that I have a son who can wail at the top of his lungs, and thank you that my sweet boy has a momma and daddy who love him desperately and who can stand by his crib and hold his hand as he falls asleep. Then my thanks drifted to all manner of gifts.  My heart squeezed with gratefulness for everything.  All things.  Each and every single one.

I want to thank Jesus for everything.  When the Lord pours blessing on us, each of us, I want to be one of the ones who immediately turns to the Lord and says, thank you.

Thank you for food and clothes and the shoes on my feet.

Thank you for a home and a bed and warm blankets.

Thank you for my husband and my son and the joy they bring to my life just by being them.

Thank you for church and community.

Thank you for strangers and new friends.

Thank you for the rivers and trees and wind.

Thank you for cozy socks and hot coffee.

Thank you for health, thank you for family, for babies, for work, for play.

Thank you for giving up Your life so that I may have mine. 

Thank you for the big things and for the little things and for the hard things that make us stronger.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

With every breath I want to thank Him, living a life of gratitude that opens my eyes to the gifts the other nine may overlook.

Thank you for giving me nine weeks with my daughter and 19 months with my son.

Thank you, God, for today.  And thank you for tomorrow.

 Here dies another day, during which I have had eyes, ears, hands, and the great world around me; and with tomorrow begins another.  Why am I allowed two? -G.K.Chesterton

Hoping this Thanksgiving week is full of giving thanks to the Maker of all good things.  Let's be the one in ten, friends, because He is so, so good and worthy of praise.

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. Pslam 95:1-2 

Still...

Wowzers.  How about I never blog, huh?

If you were expecting an exciting post with lots of pictures, this is surely going to be a disappointment. My apologies!

Because I'm just popping in to say we're still here....and I still haven't hooked up my camera to the sub computer while ours is packed away. Boo!

Sorry for being so MIA on here lately....we're getting settled into my parents' place and slowly recovering from a really busy and crazy few weeks.

We are:

Still on the lookout for a new house.

Still playing mad games of hide and seek with Newbie at least three times a day.

Still laughing every time Newbie says, "tar tar" instead of "guitar".

And still wishing I had bought Lucky Charms instead of Multi Grain Cheerios last week at the grocery store.

I'll be back this week with some pictures and video if I can get Newbie to show off a little bit for the camera. =)

Happy Sunday!

Love, your sleep deprived mother

Dear Newbie,

Remember how we just moved a trillion boxes out of our old house and into various other locations all within the past 72 hours?

Me too.

So please, please, PLEASE, pretty please with sugar and sprinkles and a cherry on top take a nap.

Because Momma needs one too.

Please?

Love,

Your Mother...who is currently wasting away in a sleep deprived stupor while I watch you chat with the friends in your crib.  Wait-what was that?  Newbie, I think Dog and Country Bunny and even Blankie all just said, "Please stop talking to us; its time to take a nap."  Maybe we should just do what they say.  Maybe????

Two Goodbyes

What makes a week of moving even crazier?  When your MIL and FIL are moving from their house to a new house in the same week!

My MIL and FIL sold their house a while before the Hubs and I sold our own, but the way the cookie crumbled has us all scrambling to pack up and haul out during the same time frame.

Welcome to Crazy Town.

What it boils down to is a couple of really crazy weeks and two house-related goodbyes in the same stretch of seven days.

Tonight the Hubs and I took Newbie over to Grandpa and Grandma's for our last hoorah.  We have a slew of memories built up in the walls of that house, and while the Hubs has a billion more before I came along, I have several of my own.

My MIL and FIL's Country House is where the Hubs and I first met.  It was a (nice, chaperoned, and crazy-free) after prom party our senior year of high school with several of our mutual friends.  He was a looker and a charmer and left me wishin' and hopin' he'd call me after I went home.  (He did. But it was two weeks later.  Worth the wait.  But I'm just saying.)

Our favorite date was at the Country House.  We started there and then the Hubs took me all through town on a four-wheeler.  I didn't even know what a quad was until I met that guy, but I loved blazing through the tall grass and thick trees with my arms wrapped around his waist.  Favorite date by far for both of us in those first years. Hard to believe that was seven years ago now. 

My in-laws have always had a hot tub, and we have always smelled like chlorine when we leave their house.  (Well, in the early years before I got pregnant with Newbie and had to sit out for fear of hard-boiling my baby, and now I still sit out with a little guy who is too small to roast in the hot tub). We spent several nights under the stars hanging out in the hot tub and solving all the world's problems- procrastinating on college papers and just chilling out in the HT instead. 

Another smell I'll forever associate with the Country House is the husky scent of burning logs in a wooden stove.  Yum. One time when we were dating, I was the lucky girl who got to help the menfolk drop logs down the shoot from outside into the basement where the wood stove was.  We stacked the logs against a wall in the storage section of the basement, and I had never felt more domesticated.  If the Hubs and I ever have to rough it in a log cabin with only a fire to warm us and our littles, worry not- homegirl has it covered.

The Hubs dropped the three worded bomb on me in the basement of the Country House.  I'll never forget where I was sitting when he whispered, "I love you."  The sweet aroma of chlorine (again!) filled the air and we were hanging out in the basement after an evening of swimming before we went home for the night, and he said it.  I couldn't believe he did, because I had told him to keep that to yourself unless you are sure you mean it, mister.  And he did.  He had waited for a long time, and he meant it and he said it, and I almost tromped down to the basement tonight to take a picture of the very spot that started forever. Then I realized the photograph would never do justice to the sweet picture I have imprinted in my mind.  So I didn't try because some things have to be left as memories- they taste better that way. 

The Country House hosted Easter this past year.  It was so fun watching my little man all decked out in his Easter plaid with matching tie and hat toddle all over that big front yard.  He had a ball rolling in that fresh green grass with Mimzy the pug.  We had a big Easter egg hunt that sent us running across all lengths of that yard for some killer-good eggs full of green bills and candy.  Such fun!

Speaking of the holidays...Oh my Christmas.  My mother-in-law throws a Christmas gathering like nobody's business.  When I think of Christmas at the Country House, I think of snuggly jammies that we usually wore, regardless of the time of day we came over.  I think of a BEAUTIFUL tree trimmed with red and silver and glittering with fluffy white snow that never melts.  (My MIL is a tree decorating extrodinaire.) I think of oodles of boxes wrapped to match with bows and tags tucked under the tree.  Of smells coming from the kitchen that could mean nothing but YUM.  And lots and lots of smiles.  Because my MIL and FIL know how to play Santa well, and because there's no place like home for the holidays, folks.

We've shared many a dinner over the small round table at the Country House.  The MIL and FIL are incredibly hospitable, and I have always loved the vast array of cheese and crackers that always sit out on the counter to curb any grumbling tummies before dinner is ready.  One time when we were dating, the Hubs and my FIL conspired to get me to eat some sort of pheasant-turkey-goose they had recently shot out in a real field somewhere.  We are talking fresh out of the woods, my friends.  Nothing testified to the authentic nature of that meal more than the BULLET I crunched down on while I was chewing my third or fourth bite.  WHAT the WHAT?!  I was munching away thinking, "this whole hunting thing isn't so bad because this food is actually delicious" when my teeth grounded down on what could have only been something trying to kill me.  Or at least turn me off of pheasant-turkey-goose for life.  I pulled the perpetrator out of my mouth, and I kid you not when I say it was a REAL LIVE bullet. As in a round sphere the color of steel stinking hanging out on my dinner plate.  Apparently it was a relatively normal thing for hunters to experience at the dinner table, because they both just chuckled at my reaction. As much as I have enjoyed sharing dinner at the Country House, I can honestly say I will never eat a pheasant-turkey-goose thing again.  Amen.

But I will eat regular turkey.  I'll never forget the Thanksgiving when I was pregnant with Newbie.  My MIL was hosting Thanksgiving at her house that year, and the spread she was rocking on that dining room table was a sight for a sore pregnant woman's eyes.  I don't know that I've ever eaten more in my life.  It. was. amazing.  Also, her Yorkshire pudding?  Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Of course, its not all about the bullets and the food.  There was the big pool in the summertime where we swam and swam and swam each year.  And the woods where we walked Opie every once in a while and where the Hubs and I went exploring.  There was the deer stand that I sat in with the Hubs a good four hours one opening day when we were dating and I was still trying to get him to like me enough to marry me.  Four hours in, the cold and the mice had me making a beeline back to the house- proposal or not, nothing was worth sitting out in the tundra listening to mice scurry over your head in a deer stand! There were the grandparents' houses that sit not-too-far away, making for fun visits when we came out to the country.  There was the garage door with dents in it from the time the Hubs' brother locked him out of the house and he tried to bang the door down with a sledge hammer.  (I always thought that was the funniest story because the Hubs is one of the most even-keeled guys I know, and it tickles me to think of him getting mad enough to whack a door with a hammer several times.) And there was, be still my heart, the fireflies and the spring peepers that kept the Hubs and I company when we hauled a couple lawn chairs out to the backyard to watch the stars while we were dating.  We had a thing for stars.  Its what we did to end many a fun day together back when we were falling in love. The spring peepers filled the night air with their happy song, and the fireflies danced in the field in front of us.  Sitting there in that backyard that night is one of my fondest memories of my time at the Country House. 

So many good memories all built up in one place.  I scooped them up and stuck them in a bottle tonight before we drove away so the Hubs and I could keep them forever.  We're looking forward to seeing what my MIL and FIL make of their new place, and we're excited to start building some new memories there with our family in tow!

With all the house goodbyes this week, we are feeling a mess of stress and emotion (mostly me in the emotion arena!) and happy anticipation of what is to come.

We sign the papers at nine tomorrow morning.

New adventure?  Bring it.

A Sunday Sundae

Just popping in to say that the Old House is almost entirely empty.  YES MA'AM it is.  My MIL and FIL and my daddy and my man all got for real on that house today, and within two loads had everything but the basement and garage all packed up, hauled out, and tucked away in storage.  EVERYTHING. A HUGE thank you to our family for pitching in BIG time today to get 'er done! 

We'll be back to finish up the basement and garage then its adios to the Old House for good.   

In other news, today is my Uncle R's birthday! Uncle R is my mom's brother and is the kind of uncle a kid dreams of having.  He was a bucket of fun growing up- always taking painstaking effort to apply all of the Barbie stickers on Santa's latest loot or to put together our birthday toys.  And he put up with Corndog and I begging him to play every hour of every day we were ever together ever. He is the best, man. He lives a bit of a drive away, but we're going to see him this Christmas and can't wait!  If I could bottle up all the enthusiasm that comes with a "happy birthday" rendition by the local Applebee's waiters complete with complimentary birthday sundae I would, but I can't, so I'm settling for the next best thing: Newbie in a birthday box.

 

 Wishing you all fabulous start to the week tomorrow and a relaxing Sunday evening!

Home Away from Home

We're here.  At our home away from home.

And all I can say is: G-Mama can cook a mean chicken and veggie dinner. Moving in with my parents for the next several weeks might be the best decision we've ever made.

Yesterday may have been the last morning we spent like this:

(This pic was taken a few weeks ago- but its definitely a "day in the life" pic from our old house.)

But this morning started with Grandad's famous cinnamon toast and ended with a few helping hands to get dinner picked up while a few more hands helped with bathtime upstairs.  It takes a village, people, and this ain't a bad gig. =)

Last night my parents watched Newbie overnight while the Hubs and I hit the upstairs at the Old House like it was our last stand.  We spent three hours packing and hauling and packing, and by the time we were done and had loaded everything we were going to take to my parents' in the back of the moving truck, it was 11 o'clock at night.  

Usually by 11 we are watching re-runs on Hulu.com or snoozing.

But not last night, baby.

Since we had babysitters and had spent our "date night" working, we decided to take advantage of the break from being responsible adults. We up and drove that massive moving truck to the grocery store for donuts and Poptarts because WHY NOT.  We parked that huge sucker right in the middle of two parking spots and waltzed into that bakery like a coupl'a crazy kids.  It was awesome.  We blared Christmas music through the speakers on the way home, cramming donuts into our cake holes and then hit a sugar crash when we walked in the door and went to bed.  But we lived hard for that half hour, baby.  

I'm so grateful for the blessed changes that come with marriage and having a little family of our own, but I love me a good night out on the town with my man, a moving truck, and a few donuts.  AMEN.

(Random chubby baby picture circa fall 2010 compliments of Why Not? ...I'm a wild woman- I ate donuts in a moving truck at midnight, and here I am posting pictures that are completely contextually irrelevant.  What's next?!)

 

(Eek!  Here I go again! It's hard not to post adorable baby pictures when I'm drowning in an ocean of sentiment and moving upheaval.  I'm blaming the sleep deprivation due to our late night excursion to the grocery store and the incredible collection of pictures I have stored up on my database.)

 

(How do you not post this???  Last one. I promise.)

This morning we unloaded our loot at G-Mama's and Grandad's.  We had a lot of loot.  Mainly because I'm not sure if we'll be here for two weeks or a few months, but also because I've never been a light packer and what if I need a few extra pairs of shoes or blankets?  I mean, can you ever have too many blankets?  

My parents have been the picture of grace and hospitality, smiling the entire time we carted billions of boxes in the door and up the stairs.  My mom did a Goodwill closet overhaul to clear out room for us, and before dinner tonight, I had unloaded most of the boxes and really made it feel like home.  Which is not hard to do since our home hasn't felt like home in two weeks due to the excess amount of boxes and moving paraphernalia (don't give me credit for knowing how to spell that word, because before the spell check it said: "paraphanelia"...nobody wonders how I ended up with an English degree more than me, I can promise you that.)

Tomorrow is a big day.  Boxes to the warehouse for storage and if we get real crazy, furniture too.  I hate to say there is still a storage closet, a basement, and a garage to pack up and haul out, but there totally is.  We are going to go hard the next three days and somehow make it happen.  Yikes.

Regardless of the big to-do list ahead of us, and the craziness behind us, I'm feeling so grateful for this opportunity.  I'm thinking of where we were at this time last year when we had a round little baby boy and only dreamed of being able to sell our house and move a little closer to family, a little further from the city.

(My roly poly boy with his aunt Courtney last November.)

What an incredible blessing the past few weeks of house-selling mania have been.  I'm so excited to be stepping into this new adventure.

The Hubs and I know this transition time between houses is just a season, and we are going to savor every moment of the good company and extra help before we pack up and move into our new home.  We're still on the hunt and are confident in God's timing for our new place.  In the meantime, we're going to enjoy some cinnamon toast and chicken dinners. =)

Wishing you all a blessed Sunday!

 

(How fun is this picture of Newbie and Griffin I found??? They are still best buds...Newbie has been exclaiming "Giff'n!  Giff'n!" any time he sees Griffin come into the room. Though Opie is still his favorite- evidenced by the happy dance he does every morning when he comes downstairs and sees his puppy dog.)

PS- New pictures to come when I get my external hard drive set up with my mom's computer.  That's a tall order for a computer illiterate like myself, but I'll get it up and running as soon as I can. =)