Celebrating Life...with yogurt and kiwis

We have been parking it like crazy the last few days.  Doesn't matter if its the 15 dollar slide I bought for Newbie last fall in the backyard or the alligator park in town, we have found ourselves outside a LOT.  And, I KID YOU NOT when I say the thermometer in my car read 82 de-

[enter Opie drinking my entire glass of water (errr!) while I tend to Newbie who konked his head on the entertainment center.  Hard.  Complete with purple line and swelling.  And the refusal of a Lightening McQueen ice pack.  *sigh*]

-grees.  This kind of weather in March up here is just unheard of, and we are loving it.  Everyone and their cat came out of their caves today. I'm pretty sure most of them came to the park we picniked at this afternoon because WOW did I ever have to fend off a slew of big kids on the swirly slide while Newbie took his turn.  It's hard being 23 months when most of the kids at the playground are at least 5.  Its a jungle out there, man.

In other news...

Remember how I mentioned last Saturday being super special?  Well, my friend sent me a few pictures to share with you all.  She hosted a sweet get together Saturday morning to celebrate Jubilee.  She emailed me about throwing a shower a few days before we found out how sick Jubilee was, and when I shared the news with her, she was determined to find a way to celebrate this little life.  She told me she prayed about what to do to make the day special, and boy howdy, did she and the Lord ever deliver!  I was spoiled to bits and pieces by a few of my closest friends and family, and we celebrated little Jubilee with a delicious brunch and a sweet prayer and lots of laughs and smiles. 

Our fabulous hostess had asked everyone to bring a frozen meal for me to use at-will (hello, full freezer!) and a momento for me and Jubilee or something to treat me.  I'm never gonna argue with a "treat the momma" party, because I'm telling you right now, I walked away with more goodies and ice cream gift cards than should be legal in this country.

Laughs and smiles and celebration are the way I want to remember this pregnancy and my little Jubilee, and Saturday was just icing on that hope.  So much of our days could be filled with anxiety and questions and fear if we didn't chose joy and trust that each day is a gift to be treasured and explored to the fullest.  Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own, and I am so, so glad Jesus gives us permission not to worry and to just dwell in the present. 

And on Saturday, dwell in the present we did.

We are dwelling with joy and peace, and I could not have been more blessed by our family and friends joining us.  My friend A is an absolute hostess with the mostest, and there was more than one little bird working behind the scenes on this project.  I can't express how thankful I am for my girlfriends and my family.  HOLLAH to my ladies and a HUGE thank you to everyone who came on Saturday for joining me and the Hubs as we shout for joy and thanks for our little Jubilee! =)

(Me and the sweetest hostess ever...love love love you, A! Check out this post on her blog for her rendition of the day...and the same pictures because she's a fab photographer and I swiped them all.)

(yum)

(I'm always game for drooling over a baby.  This is A's sweet little girl snuggling with my sister.  I'm totally as thin as my sister when I'm not rocking a baby bump.  Psshhhh.  Not.  She's got the looks, but I've got the brains.  Everyone knows you can't have them both- it just wouldn't be fair.  Is that going too far into my personal theories and issues?  My bad.)

(There's nothing quite like girlfriends that turn into family, and I was thrilled to be sitting at a table with a slew of them.  I am richly, richly blessed.)

(I held it together well at the brunch, but when I got home and showed the Hubs all the cards (oh, the cards!), the sweet momentos for me and Jubilee and all the fun pamper-yo-self things I had been given, I was a blubbering mess.  There aren't words to describe how showered in love we were that day.  So, so sweet!)

(Hello, awesome teal tea kettle.  I love the way you sit out on my stove-you are a hottie.)

(I'm telling you- the cards were such a treasure.  So much love and encouragement and prayer seeping through each and every word.  I have them stacked on my table to read through when the going gets tough. =])

A girl after my own heart, A is all about the details.  My favorite part of the whole morning may have been these little sweeties:

Tiny little plaques for each guest engraved with "Jubilee" as a reminder to pray for our sweet babe and to shout for joy in all things.  What a keepsake!  And her hubby is a rockstar- not only did he take their kiddos out for breakfast so we could brunch back at the house, but he also helped A bead all of these tiny treasures.  Impressive, no? He also made the yogurt.  From scratch.  Yeah, they don't mess around, folks.

  We love their family so so much, and we have been so blessed to get to know them over the years.  And as if the brunch celebrating Jubilee and pampering me wasn't enough, Miss A rocked her photography skills for me post-party and took a bunch of fun baby bump pictures that I get to share with you all soon.  =) Hooray!

And that's why my Saturday rocked. 

You know what they say about good friends:  Good friends are a BIG DEAL.  Like, bigger than Dairy Queen is open again for the season BIG DEAL.  (Maybe I made that up.  I can't really remember the reference on that.)

Bottom line after Saturday: I have a lot of big deals in my life.  Some of them weren't there, but oh, how I have some good friends. I'm so so grateful for my sweet friends and my precious family.

And I'm grateful for all of you too...I can't tell you what an encouragement it is on this road to know you have people rooting for your little one when it feels like the walls are closing in.  Thank you so much for walking with us and praying us through and for all the little things you do to love on my family.  Whether its meals or cards or notes or hugs or just reading and following my little family online- it means so much to us, and I can't thank you enough. 

You're a big deal.

Go shout for joy...and see if you can't get yourself a mid-March sunburn because when I went to the park with Newbie today, that. happened. 

**We have a big day tomorrow with another real-deal ultrasound with the gurus.  It will be our first report-based ultrasound since the last one we had a month ago (the others have been just for fun to take a peek at our Jubilee and see her wiggling around without any medical stuff thrown in).  We would so appreciate prayers for clarity and wisdom for the doctors as they work towards a diagnosis, and for peace for the Hubs and I as we face another day of processing the reality of how sick Jubilee really is.  Reality stings, man. I'm betting its going to be a tough day, and we'd so appreciate the prayer support.  Thank you!!!

Twitter Pated

Its been days since my last post, and I'm sorry to keep many of you who are following us and our little one waiting and wondering how we're fairing over here in my neck of the woods.  Or maybe you don't care that its been a week.  Its cool. =)  Either way, I'm here tonight with a load of pictures to share, and another "more of the same" update in the baby bump department.  We have a big ultra sound this coming Thursday when we're hoping to get a good update on Jubilee's development, but in the meantime we're taking it one day at a time with nothing new to report. Thank you so so much for the encouragement and prayers that keep streaming in in all shapes and forms- we are forever grateful to those of you who are carrying us through.

On an unrelated note, I'm currently cannonballing a dish of Easter M&M's that was intended to make a contribution to our spring "decor" but is turning out to be a victim of my chocolate craving tonight.  "BABE, WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE?"  Oh, the Hubs.  He really is a trooper. I figured I'd share. You know, just in case you wanted the Sunday night play by play.

Back to business.

All weekend long I've just been absolutely twitter pated. (Not ringing a bell?  Check out this Bambi clip and get yourself an education before you read on...there's a lot of twitter pated happening in this post. Don't forget to mute the music on the right sidebar before pressing play.)


Make that twitter pated all week long.  Its as if the Lord bent over in this scary, unsure, turbulent time in our lives and just whispered in my ear, I love you.  I love love love you.  Just look around;  Taste and see, Beloved, that I am good.  And oh, how He is.  He has captured my heart the past several days with His goodness in the simpliest of things, and let me tell you, when life is as complicated as it is for my little family right now, SIMPLE is a beautiful gift. 

Last week I was Twitter Pated with....

Sneaky Pete: Newbie feeding Opie from the table.  A classic move, and this week done with extra smiles and fervor because he's catching on that he has to be sneaky or Momma will nip it in the bud- it makes for a fun game.

Muffled Chuckles: ...from the front seat of the car when the Hubs and I realized Newbie hadn't really been reading for the entire ride home, but rather snoozing behind his Bible. What. a. sweetheart.

My Little Handy Man: Newbie has been totally into tools since he's seen his daddy using them all over the place with the remodel.  One morning early last week he took out the tools his Grandma got for him and sported the hat she bought him while he worked hard to "SIX IT!" (Fix it)  He hammered everything in every room and sprinkled each bang of the hammer with a "Wow!  Wits a widdle wowd!" (wow! its a little loud!).  He keeps us laughing, folks. 

Daddy's Shoes on Little Feet: Newbie is a big fan of big people shoes.  When he finds them by the door, he slides them on and stomps through the house with them.  I can't ever find my slippers because Little Mister is always wearing them and then ditching them in the corner of a random room.

The Wiggle: Newbie can be a super snuggle bug, but if you don't catch him at the right time and you happen to go in for a big hug, he wiggles in your arms like a fish out of water.  He belly laughs and squeals as he tries to get out of your reach.  There is nothing like Newbie's belly laugh.  It is water to the soul, baby.

A Bump in the Road: Last week we were playing cars in our pj's waiting for Daddy to get home and Newbie ran a car right up onto my belly. He laughed and laughed watching the racers roll right off "boo-ba-lee in Mommy's bel-yee" (Jubilee in Mommy's belly) and onto the floor.

(Jubilee, this week you got to play cars with Big Brother and Mommy.  Big Brother laughed and laughed, and I laughed too because I liked that you were getting in on some of the fun!  We love you to pieces, and you were every bit a part of what we did this week....but this is the only picture Momma took!  All week long we did lots of every day things, and sometimes every day things are the best things!  We drank chocolate milk, went to play at a friend's house, and went shopping with Grandma. We went to the gym and watched Big Brother at his tumble class with daddy, and we enjoyed some of the warmest weather we've had in a long time.  I loved that you got to enjoy a taste of spring with us last week!)

Spring: We done turned this house upside down with bits of spring this week.  When the weather warmed up on Tuesday, we flung open the curtains and hit the Easter decorations like nobody's business.

(Little One, looks like I did snap a quick shot of us sprucing up the house for spring last week.  I told you all about the birds and the flowers and the sun.  We talked about Easter and how exciting it is for us to celebrate the day our Jesus rose from the dead because that special day meant that God had opened the door for us to come live with Him for ever and ever if we give Him our hearts.  We hid Easter eggs on the shelves and tucked birds' nests in every corner.  Mommy loves spring because it means the chilly snow won't be coming back for a while and we'll get to enjoy the warm sunshine.  We love the sunshine, Jubilee, and we love you!)

*****

Last week was good, but this weekend was better.  It was like God opened up the floodgates of sun and showered us with spring.  The weather was gorgeous, and Friday morning the Hubs took Newbie and I to the gardens.  Going to the gardens is one of my favorite things, and I was positively enchanted once again.  That is not an exaggeration: the gardens are enchanting.  I love walking around with my boys and watching Newbie take it all in while we're surrounded with some of the prettiest accents of God's creation. It was our first time going in a while, and I drank in every last bit of the goodness. 

I was twitter pated again with His love while we trompsed through the scent of spring flowers and watched the dancing butterflies- it was delightful to taste and see that He is good!

I can hear Him...

I love you.

I love love love you.

Just look around-

Taste and see, Beloved, that I am good.

Can you hear Him?

*******

(Jubilee, you came to the gardens with us this weekend!  Oh, it is such a special place- Mommy and Daddy celebrated our wedding there with lots of family and friends, and it is one of our favorite places to visit.  We spent the morning watching the butterflies and plants God made sing His praise with their bright colors and soft scents, and we stood in the sun and felt His warmth through the windows.  The butterflies told us secrets, Jubilee- did you hear them?! Always, always remember, Sweet One, that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, and you and your big brother and sister are some of those good and perfect gifts!  Daddy and I are so, so grateful God has given you to us!  We got to spend time together enjoying some of the other gifts at the gardens, and we had such fun bringing you with us.  We love love love you, sweet Jubilee!)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

*****

I wish I could tell you how I heard Him on Saturday, but that's a post for another day because I have to swipe some pictures from my sweet friend, Miss A. It was an especially fabulous day though, one where God courted me with some of the best He has to offer disguised as the love and company of good girlfriends and great food. =)

Twitter pated. Again.

And then there was today, where the weather was so gorgeous that we spent every minute we could outside after church.  We took Newbie to the park, then played out in the yard, then went for an after dinner walk with Newbie in the wagon and Opie on the leash.  I'm not sure there's been a Sunday better spent. 

I'm off to snuggle with the Hubs before we start another Monday tomorrow.  I'm praying that you hear Him this week, friends.  That you can hear Him say He loves you and that you take the time to taste and see that He is good.  And be on the lookout: sometimes His goodness tastes the best and looks the most beautiful in the simplest of every day things. 

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34:7-9

God is good, and spring is here. Go get twitter pated, baby.

The Hurt and The Healer

This song by MercyMe has spoken volumes to my soul today.  I can't describe what a beautiful picture this paints of this momma's heart in this season. I've tried so hard to find the words to convey how intricately woven the deep hurt and miraculous hope I'm experiecing through this journey are, and just this morning on the radio, I found that MercyMe has so beautifully already done it for me. Praise Jesus for amazing singers and songwriters who can give a girl a break from racking the brain for just the right words to say. Every single word is such a reflection of my heart. Every. single. word.
*Mute the music on the right sidebar to play video



Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and The Healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When the hurt and The Healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When the hurt and The Healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and The Healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here

*The Hurt and The Healer by MercyMe
*****

Praying you are captivated by His glory today- a beautiful glory that brings healing even in the deepest of hurts.

Brittany

Ice Cream and baseball glubs

(Disclaimer: this is a messy, unrevised and unedited post that I'm letting go because the Hubs and Newbie have both snuck off to bed without me and I don't like going to bed alone. =)  But the good news is there are lots of pictures, so that makes up for the messiness, right? Also, its long...some of you who are new to my blog are probably thinking "GOOD NIGHT this chick write a lot of long posts."  The truth is, I don't usually throw this much jazz into writing, but life has taken a turn for the long and winding, and lately my posts have followed suit in my trying to keep up.  Someday maybe I'll be able to keep it under 93,837 words.  We'll see. =])

[deep breath]

This is so hard.  There are days when today is easier than others, and then there are days when today is really hard.  Today was really hard.  We had an ultrasound and doctor appointment this morning, and we were reminded of the reality of this situation and how sick our little Jubilee is.  She wasn't wiggling much on the screen today, and her little arms were snuggled up against her chest and her little hands and fingers tucked up under her chin.  She looked so snuggly and peaceful, but the truth of the her health didn't sneak out of the room today.  Our doctor was more quiet than usual and we were given the same prescription when we left: yes, you are having contraction, and yes, you may be on the verge of labor any day now or it may still be July before you deliver this baby- but either way, your baby is very sick and its not looking good. 

Ugh.

There's a fine balance we've been weighing between hoping and praying for God's complete healing and a rock-your-socks-off miracle and swallowing what we see and bracing ourselves for a really difficult experience ahead of us.  We believe completely that God can change the game at the last minute.  We also know a change in Jubilee's health and development may not be at all what He has in mind. We've been really transparent with God about what we would like to have happen, usually through sobbing tears in the dark of night (hello, incredible miracle and happy, healthy, full-term baby in July), but I can honestly say that what I want is what He wants.    It's not my Christian cookie-cutter answer for a hard situation.  It's just the truth.  I want what He wants for this baby.  I want His will to be done in this because I trust Him.  I trust what He says about how He loves us.  I trust what He says about how much He loves our Jubilee.  I trust what He says about the plans He has for us, and I trust what He says about how He will be with us. 

Because we trust Him, we're praying the He would just have mercy on this sweet baby- whether that mercy comes wrapped up in a full-healing miracle, or in a glorious Home-coming, we are just praying His will would be done for our Jubilee, and that He would do what is right for her and for Him.

And that He would hold us together in whatever that looks like.

Sometimes people ask the Hubs or me if we're angry.  I can honestly say that I'm not.  Do I beg Him to make all the brokenness go away? Yes.  A thousand times a day or more.  Do I ask Him to help us learn whatever we need to learn in this but to get us through it as unscathed as possible?  Absolutely.  Do I let Him know that we'd really be ok with it if we woke up and this was all just a bad dream?  Every morning.

But I'm not angry. Because I know He is always good.  Because I know Heaven is incomparably better than here.  Because I know that He is weeping with us when we face the darkest, loneliest parts of this and because I know He has caught every single one of our tears in His hand.  Because I know that the same hurt the Hubs and I face every day is the very hurt that breaks the heart of the Lord- because it was never meant to be this way. 

I'm not angry because I love Him and trust Him with all of my heart. He is so much bigger than this, and His plans are so much better, and His Story stretches far beyond my family and our hardships. I have no doubt that God's hand is heavy on this child and that He is dwelling with us through this and that no matter what happens, He is always good. 

I'm not angry at Him; I'm desperate for Him.

If anything at all, knowing how sick our baby is drives me further into the arms of God.  We are desperate for Him.  For His promises, for His Kingdom, for His plans, for His glory.  All of it.  He's everything to us, and He is enough.

But that doesn't mean today isn't hard.  Today was.  But we're pressing on because where else is there to go?  We debated what to do after our hard day today.  At first we had planned on coming home and huddling up on the couch for a quiet night together as a family.  Then remembered there's such a thing as an ice cream shop and we still have today to share the world and our hearts with our sweet Jubilee, and so we hit Cold Stone like it was going out of style.

(Sweet Jubilee, we got to take a little peek at you this morning, and it was so good to see you snuggled up in Momma's belly.  You looked so peaceful and sweet and my heart squeezed with wanting to hold you and rock you and sing to you and  stroke your hair. We know we may not get to do those things here, so instead we took you out and loved on you the best way we knew how tonight: with Birthday Cake Remix ice cream and lots of sprinkles.  You and Big Brother had your first taste of Mommy and Daddy's favorite ice cream, and we had to explain to you both that this was a gourmet experience and you shouldn't expect us to shell out five bucks on a pile of ice cream every time we get a treat.  Cold Stone is for special occasions, and its a place where Mommy and Daddy went to when we were dating and we wanted to share it with both of you.  So we forked over your brother's college fund to feast on a delicious cake batter and brownie/fudge/sprinkles combo, and it was worth every penny, wasn't it, sweet Baby?  You know that's right.)

(Big Brother has a sticker fetish that he decided to share with you last week.  I told you about how Mutte sends Big Brother lots of stickers in the mail because she knows how much he loves them, and then we were interrupted by Big Brother coming in and telling us he had fed Opie some stickers.  "Opie eat it," he said.  Oh, boy.  I took it as an opportunity to tell you about how Opie eats socks and other naughty things too and how he's always been a bit of a rascal but we love him anyway because his tail is cute and curly and he's really snuggly at night when we sit on the couch.  Then we got back to talking about "Too-Tee" and the stickers she sends and how much she loves you and your big brother and how that loves just oozes out of every fun little package she sends in the mail.  I told you about how her letters smell like her and remind me of growing up in Texas, and then I told you about GD's meadow and the cows that are there and all the fun Aunt Corndog and I had visiting when we were little girls.  You are so, so loved, Little One, and I know all of your great-grandparents would just love to give you a big squeeze.  They are praying for you, Jubilee.  Lots and lots. Do you know how much we love you?!  SO much!)

(Do you remember hearing Mommy and Big Brother play the piano last week?  Mommy only took lessons for a few years, so she's still stuck in a beginners song book, but that doesn't mean I can't rock out a few good Disney songs or the Jurassic Park theme song. =)  Your brother loves to "pay nano" and you got in on the fun last week!)

(Sometimes our days are slow and we don't do much besides sit in buckets on the floor.  Last Thursday was one of those days.  Hello, Big Brother!  Jubilee, that goofy brother of yours loves you so much.  Did you know that when you were even smaller than you are now, he hugged your belly and wanted to "pay bay-bee"?  He wanted to pray for you each morning when we woke up, and he would snuggle my belly to give you a hug.  We still pray for you every day, and he likes to pick up your picture in the frame on the end table and look at you.  He came to see you on the screen today, but he didn't last long because Big Brother is kinda noisy and wiggly...but he did catch a glimpse of the baby in Momma's belly before Daddy had to sneak him out to find some candy.  What a blessing you are to us, Jubilee- you are a piece to this family that we will always, always love and treasure- just like we have since the day we found out you were a part of us.  You and your big sister Eden have taught us so much about how to love well.  Thank you, Little One, for giving us the opportunity to learn how to make every day count.)

(My goodness, do you ever know how to play some baseball.  Big Brother and Daddy played baseball all weekend long, and I imagine you've heard more of the "Ball Game Song" and "STRIKE THREE!" than any 21 week old baby.  I told you about what its like to go to a ball game in the spring and about how Mommy and Daddy both played the game and how much we loved it.  It looks like Big Brother loves it too...he's been wearing Daddy's "glub" all weekend.  I wish I could do a good job describing the smell of the leather in the glove or the texture of the dirt on the field or the thrill of catching a line drive at third and throwing the runner out at first, but its just too much fun for words!  And don't even get me started on the cotton candy or the lemon chills when you're sitting in the stands at the ball park...yum!  We love baseball, and I'm so glad you got to be a part of that with all the baseball played this weekend.)

(Jubilee, did you know your daddy is a handyman?  He is.  He has remodeled everything in this new house and he has put in hours and hours doing all sorts of things that Mommy has no idea how to do.  Big Brother helped Daddy fix up the playroom on Saturday.  They were both really busy with the tools, and you and me just sat and watched and made sure nobody poked and eye out with the screwdriver.  Our raingutter bookshelves are up now, and we have set out the Easter books to read and enjoy over the next several weeks.  Over Christmas we read all about how God sent Jesus to teach us how to love and to tell us how much He loves us, and now we get to read about Easter and how Jesus died for us and then rose again into Heaven to make a way for us to get to be with Him forever if we give Him our hearts and follow Him.  Mommy and Daddy have given Jesus our hearts, and we pray every day that you and Big Brother will know Jesus like we do.  He is so good, sweet Baby, and He loves you so very, very much!  You can trust Him and follow Him anywhere He asks you to go, and you never have to be afraid because He will always be with us.  Oh, how we love Jesus, and Oh!  how He loves you, Jubilee!)

(I know you must know how much your Daddy loves you, sweet baby.  He is our rock around here, and has done such a good job taking care of the three of us, hasn't he?  Mommy loves him to pieces, and I am sure you do too.  He has read Scripture to you before bed at night in that wonderfully deep voice of his, and I hope it makes you feel safe and snug like it makes Big Brother and Mommy feel when we are around Daddy and can hear his voice.  We are so so blessed to have a Daddy like we do at our house, sweet baby.  And he love love loves you so much! He makes it easy for us to understand how much God loves us, doesn't he?  The way he cares for us and makes us feel safe and holds us when we cry.  Your Daddy is such a gift, sweet one.)

(We went to Chilli's this weekend and introduced you to the best salsa in the world.  Daddy and Big Brother taught you the art of watching the game on the TV above the tables, and Momma taught you the art of putting way too much sour cream on fajitas because why even eat them if you aren't going to smother them in sour cream?!  We had a fun lunch date with you, sweet baby.  We love having you be a part of our fun family weekends.)

(Sunday we went to church and got more hugs for you from more people we love and I was so happy to have another Sabbath with you where you can hear God's people sing His praise.  Heaven will be like that, Jubilee, only so very, very much more beautiful and wonderful!  Your big sister Eden already knows all about that, but we can only dream of how pretty the music in Heaven is.  Mommy is so excited to hear that music and be a part of it someday...I'm hoping God can teach me a little bit of rhythm before we get there. =)  You know Mommy loves to sing, Jubilee, but you should really listen to Daddy when it comes to all of the important stuff like rhythm and key.  He is a drummer and is good with those things.  What Mommy lacks in talent, she makes up for with enthusiasm though- and that's what its all about anyway...making a joyful noise!)

(You are getting big!  Daddy took some pictures on Sunday after church because we want to remember what you looked like in Mommy's belly.  My goodness how I love the little baby bump God has given us in you, Jubilee.  You are such a treasure!)

Jubilee, I want you to know how many people are praying for you and thinking about you and loving you.  You are not alone, sweet baby; there are so many people cheering you on and enjoying watching you grow.  Can you feel their blessing? Mommy and Daddy have been so blessed by the love and prayers of our friends and family and sweet strangers who really aren't strangers at all- I want you to know that those people are loving on you when they love on us, and I hope you feel every bit of that love, Little One.  

You are such a gift and a treasure to us, Jubilee.  Thank you for teaching us to be thankful in all things and to trust God no matter what.  You have helped us grow, Little One.  Did you know you are already impacting the world?  Yes, you!  Tiny you, are touching and changing hearts, and Mommy and Daddy are so proud to be your parents.  We love love love you, sweet baby.  And please please forgive us for calling you a girly name and throwing around all kinds of "she's"  and "her"'s in these days...we'll nip it in the bud as soon as we find out if you're our son or daughter, but for now, thank you for giving Mommy and Daddy grace and letting us give you a name in the meantime.  =)  

Love you forever,

Mommy
*****
The Hubs and I are finding that this road only gets longer and more difficult to walk with each passing day at this point, and we just wanted to say thank you for walking with us.  We can't tell you how much encouragement, comfort, and strength we get from knowing we're not in this alone.  We've been so blessed by the surprise grocery runs and dinners and phone calls and text messages and emails and blog comments and facebook notes and prayers upon prayers upon prayers for us and our Jubilee. Not a single act of reaching out goes unnoticed or is chalked up as anything but a huge encouragement to us.  Thank you a trillion times over with sprinkles and fudge and brownies on top. =)

Hugs from our family to yours,

Brittany

Peek-a-Boo!

Last week I asked my doctor if we could sneak in for a fun ultra sound to watch our Jubilee and not be smothered by the scary whispers and grim faces we got at our 19 week ultra sound when the doctors found that Jubilee was severely behind in development. And because my OB is outstanding, we got a "YES!"  The pictures in this post are from our 19 week ultra sound, because they are a little more high-tech and clear than the ones we got at our spontaneous ultra sound party at 20 weeks last Friday. 

At our fun 20 week ultrasound, the Hubs and I ooo-ed and aahh-ed while we watch our littlest little boogy down on the screen.  Jubilee was bouncing around so much, but was VERY adamant about keeping those itsy bitsy legs crossed to keep us guessing about whether we've got a little boy or girl.  It was SUCH a blessing to get to see our little one scrambling around on the screen, that little heartbeat just pounding away.  Oh, how we prayed for that heartbeat weeks and weeks ago, and now, months later, there it was, still thrumming away!  What a miracle this little one already is!

As I watched Jubilee swoosh around on the screen, wiggling in a way that reminded us of Big Brother and all his energy, my heart radiated happiness.  That is the way an ultrasound is suppose to be- exciting and a celebration of that little one bouncing around in the womb, regardless of what the picture might say about what is right or what is wrong- just look at her go!  How happy we were to see our sweet one and just celebrate and thank God for now....because now we have her and look!  Look at that heart ticking away and that little nose!  And those arms and legs, fingers and toes! What a miracle, a gift- and we can't help but burst at the seams with praise and gratitude to God for today!  How pleased we were to walk out of the office that day, loaded down with a little more sobering post-appointment insight into the situation, but a slew of 15 ultrasound pictures to soothe the sting.  What fun it has been to walk past that reel of black and whites on our fridge each day!

 (Hi, there, Little One! Do you know how loved you are?  Do you know?!?  Not only by Daddy and me and Big Brother and so many others, but also by our sweet Jesus who holds you even now?  Do you know, sweet one? You must know. Oh, Child, how we are praying for you! ...and how much Mommy wants to kiss that little button nose!)

With a house full of ultrasound pictures, we've been making each day count.

(Precious Jubilee, last week we celebrated your Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary!  We went to a party and showed you what fancy looks like.  Remember how I told you that purple shirt and bow tie we bought your brother for Easter was fancy?  Well, this was even fancier than a bow tie. We didn't get nearly enough pictures of the party or the guests of honor, but we snapped a few of your Big Brother in action. Your big brother showed you how to rock the crayons and bib when fine dining, and you got to spend the evening with lots of family and lots of fun!  I told you about the blessing that marriage is and how many of your grandparents have loved so well and how fun it is to celebrate years of devotion to one another in love.  Daddy and Mommy have only been married for four years, but I told you about how GD and Mutte have been married over 50 years and how we celebrated their anniversary- and about how your grandparents have each been married for years and of course, you got to celebrate the big 50 with your Grandma and Grandpa P that night! ) 

(Baking.  Baby, baking is about the only thing Mommy can do without burning something or letting a pot boil over.  You and Big Brother helped me scoop a batch of cookies onto the pan, and then we cannonballed almost an entire cookie jar full of the finished product because its important that you understand cookies taste best when they are gooey and right out of the oven.  I told you about how your GiGi and Aunt Corndog and Mutte are all fine cooks and how I don't know why Mommy had to miss that gene.  I also can't sing, which is a big disappointment when we are at Miss Trudy's and Mommy has to sing the ball game song to get Big Brother to smile (Bunny trail, but still worth noting =]) Your brother and Mommy wore aprons because aprons make everything more fun.  Your Aunt Corndog makes the most beautiful aprons, and you and Mommy wore one of hers that day.) 

(You and Mommy have been given a few bouquets and pots of pretty flowers lately, and I've told you all about how flowers are some of my favorite things, and how I like the ones we can plant because they have the promise of coming up again the next spring.  You've helped Mommy water the plants through the house, and Big Brother has helped too.  We love having pretty bits of spring to drink in during these chilly winter days, and I've told you all about how beautiful the earth becomes when the flowers begin to bloom after the last frost.  We read Psalm 104 aloud last night, and I loved that it told you all about God's creation and captured all the bits and pieces of the outdoors that we get to enjoy.  How I wish there was enough time in the world to tell you of God's beauty reflected in His artwork outdoors, but there just isn't, Sweet One, it is too beautiful for words- so we have to breathe deep of the pretty flowers on the tabletop and close our eyes and dream of all the lovely things that cover the earth just outside our door.)

(Apples and dance parties are two things we do a lot of.  Big Brother wanted you to know that dancing is always better when you find yourself a platform...even if it is just a stack of DVD's. You have learned some smooth moves from your Brother, and I'm almost certain I caught you showing off some of what you learned from him on the ultrasound screen last week.  We spent the afternoon dancing to some Toby Mac and munching on apples.  Your big brother loves dancing to loud music, but Daddy is not a big dancer, so we have to squeeze in our parties before Daddy gets home from work. =)  I don't think he know what he's missing!)

(Today your Big Brother and his accomplice, Opie, decided to show you what mischief looks like.  Mischief looks like dragging a box of electronics through the living room by a cord and leaving the mess for Mommy to clean up.  Big Brother and Opie are really good at mischief!)

Mommy and your brother are off to give you another good lesson in napping.  We would be remiss if we did not emphasize the benefit of napping each and every afternoon. =)

We love love love you, Sweet Jubilee!  Thank you for spending these special days with us!!!

Love you forever,

Mommy

****

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and love. Whether its a comment on the blog, a hug when we bump into you, a meal in the evenings, or prayers and words of support, the Hubs and I can't begin to describe the encouragement we feel knowing we aren't walking this road alone.  We are so blessed when we hear that so many of you are praying for Jubilee and for us.  Thank you thank you thank you!

We are finally hooked up with Internet at our new house, so I'm hoping to be able to update a little more frequently.  I've been given orders by the doctor to take it easy and limit my activity, so there will probably be lots of time to sit and type on my horizon. ...I may even be able to squeeze in some new house before-and-after pictures in if I'm feeling really ambitious. =)

Wishing you all a blessing-filled day!