Somebody please pull up a semi so I can take these diapers home

This afternoon my sweet friend Fiona and her mom threw me a wonderful baby shower.

I absolutely loved it, and I felt so blessed by the family and friends who came bearing smiles and gifts for our little man and wagonfuls of wipes and diapers. There were more wipes and diapers on that gift table than in the baby aisle at the grocery store. We are definitely stocked for a while and SO grateful!

The shower was adorable. Cute baby blue decos and plenty of chocolate (my heart said "woohoo!" while my waistline...and arms...and legs...and face mourned and cried a little...OK; a lot). At one point I realized I was eating blue M&M's like they were chips. Or water. What the what?!? And I ate more than my fair share of broccoli (I never spell "broccoli" right on the first try. Ever. The spell check knows this and mocks me.) cheddar soup in a bread bowl, which I'm sure will aid the triple chin issue I've been having since month 5 of this pregnancy. Don't judge me, Jillian Michaels. I'll jump on the Biggest Loser band wagon post-baby, but for now I'm going to love me some soup and bread. And chocolate. And ice cream.

Two things to note before scrolling through the pics below:
One: I realize there really should be a law against posting pictures of yourself in the third trimester. I mean, you're really not doing anyone any favors displaying the result of endless midnight cravings and Lucky Charm benders. However, I've almost officially given up scrap booking, which leaves the blog as the one source of pre-baby life documentation. So here they are. The dreaded third trimester photographs. In all their massive caloric intake glory.

Two: Quite possibly the most humorous part of the day was when I asked the Hubs to assemble our new baby bouncer and the baby swing when we got home. Graco directions are not his favorite game. And I had a good laugh or three watching him work. To his credit, everything is assembled and looking good. It was just a pretty entertaining journey getting there.

This was a funsie game we played. We had to guess what kind of candy bar was in each of 11 diapers. I don't know what the official name was, but I'll forever remember it as "that game with the microwaved candy bars in diapers that we played before lunch that somehow made me want to eat a Snickers"


G-Mama and Grandma...two happy grandmothers-to-be


Those doggone delicious M&M's


Me and G-Mama


Whoa! Diapers!!!!


This is L and I before she found out she was going to be employed to help the Hubs haul all those diapers up to the nursery...I figured all that hard work earned her a spot on the blog tonight =)


My stud taking on the Graco post-shower




The Hubs victorious. One way or another that hanger was used in the construction of the bouncer...hard to say why


A BIG thank you to the lovely hostesses and my family and friends for all the generous gifts and for coming out to celebrate with me today!!!

The Good Stuff

Today is going to be a good day.

I slept in a little bit this morning and crawled out of bed to a toasted bagel with raspberry cream cheese, a banana, and a glass of OJ. Yum.

The babes and I have an OB appointment this morning, then we're headed over to visit a friend of mine who just had a sweet little girl a week ago. I can't wait to snuggle that fresh little baby.

Then I'm headed back home to do laundry or maybe watch TV. I still haven't decided which.

Then I'm meeting L for a night out on the town. Panera and the mall and then who knows...the world is our oyster. She's already offered to push me around in a wheel chair, so who knows what kind of trouble we'll get in. I hope Gymboree has some sales. And not the "this swimsuit was 50 dollars and now it's down to 30 dollars" kind. I'm looking for the "this swimsuit was 50 dollars and now it's down to 7 dollars" kind. Keeping my fingers crossed.

A good day.

Sheesh. I had better tend to my four-legged charge...after ringing the "I need to go outside bells" (on our front door) multiple times, he has officially pulled every pillow off the couch in an effort to get my attention. When a guy's gotta go, a guy's gotta go.

This is what I think about when I get scared of C-sections and faulty epidurals

Each night this week the Hubby and I have cuddled up on the couch to enjoy some mediocre television together. And a couple days this week, I've hopped online to catch up on the shows he refuses to watch. They're the ones I wish I could say I am not entertained by. But I am. So I do. (Here's to you, The Bachelor).

My thoughts, in the event you're willing to give up 3 minutes of your life to attend this debriefing...

We'll start with the best:

24
-Oh, Bauer. Had it only been a week? It felt like an eternity.
-Renee Walker is nuts-O. Who misses Audrey Raines right about now?!?
-This week, after I failed to have a single internal thought and blurted out my feelings towards a plan they were scheming, my husband and my father mutually agreed that of all the characters on the show, I am most like Chloe O'Brien. Hmm. I am choosing to focus on her brains and loyalty rather than her screaming social awkwardness.

American Idol
-Where is Hollywood week? I'm tired of auditions.
-Also, was I the only one thrown off a little bit by Posh's Mulan bun?

Lost
-Who is wondering if they are ever going to close the loop on the Polar Bear issue from Season One? Is it even possible for the show to tie up all the loose ends before the end of this Final Season? My heart is hoping yes. My brain is thinking no.
-Whoa. Jack got the serious what for from that temple guy during the scene by the spring. I'm thinking Jack needs to find himself a gun. It worked for Kate, and his boyish good looks are clearly getting him nowhere this season.

Last and certainly least, The Bachelor
-First of all, why after neglecting to watch season after season am I suddenly hooked? I want to look away, turn to Scrubs Season 9 perhaps, but cannot.
-Crazy chicks. Crazy.

And that concludes my thoughts on this week's television extravaganza. Maybe I can write about something relatively significant tomorrow. We'll see.

I wish they hadn't told me that.

Long night at our last childbirth class learning about the horror of C-sections and epidurals that don't work.

Good night, Bessie.

I'm going to need some chocolate therapy after that one.

In other news, ............

Nevermind.

I'm just going to go find some chocolate.

Where are you, Summertime?

I miss roasting marshmallows and drinking various summer beverages. I also miss those jeans and the fact that they used to fit.

I miss packing up neon colored objects and going out to the beach.

I miss babies in swim suits.

I miss trying to bathe Opie in the backyard. What a buster.

I miss garage sale-ing. And feeling like a champ for finding a great bargain.

I miss summer lunches at Panera.

I miss sunsets on the lake.

I could have posted pictures from today, but I decided that would be a downer because there would be snow in the background, and I'd be wearing a huge sweatshirt, and I'd probably have a grumpy-ish face on because all day I've been wondering Where are you, Summertime?

Hey Bauer, pass the flour

Jack Bauer was in the kitchen making Pioneer Woman's chicken fried steak tonight.

OK, so he wasn't really there. I was. But I was wishing I had some Bauer power when I stepped into the kitchen to whip up some chicken fried steak for dinner before 24 tonight. I may have southern roots and a mom who cooks like a champ, but frying stuff in oil and boiling potatoes and "dredging" things in flour scares me.

Here's a play by play assessment of the damage:





Note #1: I have no idea why P-Dub didn't warn me to don my protective eyewear. As soon as the oil heated up there was an enormous amount of screaming in agony as I ran around the kitchen trying to find oven mitts for each hand and sun glasses for my eyes before the house exploded and took me with it.

Note #2: I'm not sure why my gravy turned out more like a paste than a gravy. Or hummus. Yes. It was pretty hummus-ish. So I followed my own best rule when it comes to cuisine: when in doubt, smother it in ketchup.

Note #3: It is important to make note of my past and present stress level regarding this meal. I was stressed out before. I was stressed out during. And I was stressed out after. I'm pretty convinced the ordeal that is chicken fried steak is not going to show its face around here again.

From here on out, me and Bauer are sticking to our mac & cheese. And ice cream.

I need to rent a Princess Leia costume.

Today was a good day.

I bought groceries.

I fed the dog.

I cleaned the house.

I unloaded the dishwasher.

I took out the trash.

Then I got the mail.

Oh no.

Judicial Circuit?!?

Oh no. It's probably from those animal police on TLC. They know about how I sprayed Opie with a water gun because I didn't have a tazer yesterday when he started to rip up the ottoman. Sheesh.

Or it's from the cashier at the grocery store today. She turned me in for buying vanilla yogurt covered raisins instead of the cereal my husband asked for.

I knew I had it coming.

I opened the letter.

Woohoo! They don't know about the water gun. And the lady at the grocery store isn't a tattle tale. They just want me to report for jury duty.

On my son's due date.

When I read the letter my face got hot, and my hands got sweaty, and I had an instant fantasy of dressing up as Princess Leia just like Liz Lemon did on that episode of 30 Rock to avoid jury duty.


"And I don't really think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I'm a hologram..."

So I need to rent a Princess Leia costume. It's the only solution I can see to this problem. I just can't believe I'd make a good juror with these pregnancy hormones bringing out all my crazy.

Or I could just call to postpone the date.

Not sure which plan I'll go with, but in the meantime, I'm going to go toss in a load of laundry and down a few vanilla yogurt covered raisins. Maybe see if I can get a couple side buns going with my hair too.

Princess Leia, over and out.