Dear Santa, About that "you better not cry, you better not pout" part...

Newbie's second year visiting Santa did not go as well as the first.

I think it had something to do with the fact that this Santa wasn't his daddy like he was last year.

My bad.

The tears and his little face just tore me up, but I couldn't help myself from snapping a picture before I rescued him (my friend L was just outside of this shot in case Newbie needed some back-up). Kudos to Santa for really holding it together for the home team. I truly couldn't help myself because, all mother guilt aside, if this picture isn't a classic Santa and baby shot, then I don't know what is.

Tomorrow is a big day for our little family.  We go in for our third ultrasound at 8 in the morning, and we are so, so prayerful that we will see and hear some encouraging news.  Please join us in praying for this little baby.  We have been drinking in each and every moment of every day we've had with him. We are just aching to snuggle him in July and introduce him to his big brother who has been "pay"ing (praying) for "bay-bee" since the day we told him there was another baby in his momma's belly.  Thank you so very much, friends.  We are so grateful for your prayers for our little one! I'll update you as soon as I can tomorrow.

A good friend sent me a link to an incredibly inspiring blog post this morning.  I took notes and am doing some thinking- I love her take on Christmas.  Click here and check it out.  I promise it's amazing. =)

Have a very happy Thursday!

A Boy and His Dog

All day, this is what I've heard coming from Newbie:

"Opie, come!"

"Opers!  COME!"

"Ugh. Opie!  Oh boy."

"Oh MAN!"

"Opie in der?" 

"Opie, off!"

"Opie, down!"

"Uh oh!"

"Opers?  Opers in der?"

This little guy has been talking to his dog all day long.  My personal favorite is a tie between: "Opie? Oh boy!" when he found Opie under the Christmas tree and "Opie in der?" (Is Opie in there?) as soon as he got up from his nap.

Opie's earning his keep around here by providing hours of entertainment for our little man. 

You know who else is earning their keep?  Me neither.  But I can assure you its not me since the Hubs sent me out for groceries today and I came home with Cheese Balls and Gummy Bears.  Also some Lightening McQueen Cheez-Its.  I was starving, and it was the only stuff that didn't make me wanna gag. Never send a pregnant lady to the grocery store.  Its going to be a bad idea every time.

But the Cheese Balls?  Oh, yum. I do miss the can they came in when I was a little girl.  The big purple bag kinda lacks the charm of the blue can with the yellow lid. But still, every bit as yummy as I remembered.

Enjoying this little life inside of me today and the Cheese Ball/Gummy Bear combo he inspires. =)  The Hubs and I are expecting to see him looking like a Gummy Bear at our ultrasound on Friday morning.  He'll be a little bigger than Newbie was at his first ultrasound, and we both remember seeing Newbie's tiny tiny arms and legs wiggling like crazy at the bottom of the screen.  Thank you for praying for our little Gummy Bear- we will keep you updated!

A happy Wednesday and plenty of Cheese Balls to you and yours this Christmas!

Christmas Bo-ing

Do marshmallows constitute a breakfast?  Because Newbie just picked all the mallows out of his Lucky Charms and gave a banana the shaft.  And I let him.  Because its Christmas and because sometimes it ain't worth the fight. Speaking of Christmas and cereal, does anybody know where I can find some Christmas Captain Crunch?  Its a Christmas tradition around here, and its been MIA at the grocery store.  Homegirl needs some Christmas Crunch, man.

Also, I'm convinced our little baby is doing well today because I just looked at Pinterest and gagged at the sight of any food- even the usually yummy Christmas treats (with the exception of Christmas Crunch, of course).  Hello, nausea.  If it means this baby is healthy and well, you can stay as long as you'd like.  But I'm going to have to rethink pinning any recipes for a while. =)

This weekend was busting at the seems with December.  And I finally got it together and pulled out my camera. Wahoo!

Christmas Tree-ing:

Newbie was completely enthralled with the Christmas tree decorating.  He was such a great helper!  He kept coming back to the ornament box after hanging each ornament we handed him, and when he realized he had a tree in his room to decorate, he was running from the box in our room to the tree in his room and back and forth and back and forth.  We had such fun watching him and remembering how fun it was to decorate the tree as a kid.  I love the way having a little guy opens a window to the past and brings a whole knew sparkle to the magic of Christmas.

The Santa Parade:

We had planned to walk in the parade, but at the last minute, we opted out because of the weather.  We debated not going to the parade at all, and then made a game-time decision to pack Newbie up and take him because the rain had let up a bit.  G-Mama and Grandad hopped in the car with us, and we pulled the wagon up to the curb just in time to catch the start of the parade.  Newbie was taken with all the fun things and people to see and watch, and when he wasn't chowing down on a lollipop, he was talking and pointing at all the cars and kids passing by in the parade.  It was a little drippy outside, but Newbie had a blast.

 

Saturday Night Bo-ing:

Saturday after the parade and a good nap, we took Newbie "bo-ing".  He loves bowling with the play set he has at home, and Grandad has taken him to the lanes before, but he had never actually gone bowling.  The Hubs and I had "take Newbie bowling" on our December Bucket List, so we made it happen on Saturday.  It was complete chaos.  The place was jam-packed with people bowling after picking up their Christmas tree or enjoying the Santa parade, and we were tucked into a lane between two families with kids.  Newbie was ecstatic about the whole thing, but it was a real workout keeping him out of the two lanes beside us and off the slippery alley.  But the look on his face as he took it all in made it completely worth it.  He knew he had made it to the Big Time.  No more foam bowling pins for this kid.  Real bowling balls, real bowling shoes, real bowling pins. Memory made, baby.

 

(This joint was a mediocre photographer's worst nightmare...blacklights and lasers?  Are you stinkin' kidding me?  What the heck was my aperture suppose to be doing under that kind of pressure?!)

I have to smile when I look at these pictures because I love that we got to enjoy these parts of our Christmas celebration with our littlest baby too.  And since we don't know whether this may be the only family time we get with him this side of Heaven, it makes all this memory making all the sweeter.  We're praying hard this week as we look forward to another ultrasound on Friday.  A big hug and thank you to those of you who are praying with us!!!

Friday night I was so blessed by our church's women's ministry Christmas event.  We heard Tammy Trent speak (she's so spunky and fun!) and I bawled my eyes out through "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".  I'm usually a mess during those old Christmas hymns, but you throw in the pregnancy hormones and the desperate hope we have for this baby, and it's a bucket of tears, man.

Tonight I'm meeting with a bunch of ladies as we work our way through Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer.  I'm really enjoying the book so far and looking forward to another night of discussion (and treats!) with the girls.  I love having so many opportunities to dig into my relationship with Jesus this Christmas.  It's such a good thing to be able to slow down in the midst of all the Christmas crazy and just breathe in the goodness and pleasure of the season.  As my good friend reminded me in a note this week, "Remember it's a gift and it's meant to be enjoyed- the whole season and every part of it. Try not to get distracted with all the stress of Christmas shopping because the best gift of all has already been given!" 

So today, Newbie and I are going to enjoy Christmas "Bay yee" (Bailey- my mom's cat) style: resting by the Christmas tree and enjoying the sparkle.  Hoping you have a very happy Monday!

 

(My mom, sister and I all whipped up these ruffled Christmas tree skirts from Pinterest.  LOVE them!)

Once Upon a Gingerbread Barn

Today Newbie and I decided to make a gingerbread house. This little life inside of me is constantly on my heart and mind, but we're taking it day by day over here and just enjoying every moment of every day.  So today?  It was gingerbread house making, baby.

Excuse me.  Gingerbread BARN making.  When I pulled out the pre-made house and told Newbie we were going to decorate a gingerbread house, he insisted it was a barn by repeating "BARN, BARN, BARN!" like an adorably sweet little broken record.

Our Gingerbread Barn looks awesome.

 

 

As I was typing away about our "barn," I heard Newbie yelling, "come! come! come!" I didn't realized what he was doing until I looked up to see he has a Little People plastic lion in one hand, and his other little paw pounding against his knee.  Opie loves to eat the Little People.  This kid is totally walking through the house calling for Opie to "COME!" so he can feed him one of the Little People. What. the. funny!  When I asked him what he was doing, Newbie said, "Bo-pee!" (his latest version of "Opie").  I love having a toddler- that kid never fails to keep me laughing!

We have big plans to press on with the happy of December while we wait on the Lord to find out what He has in store for this little baby.  It is such a blessing to know he's here with us while we laugh with Newbie and enjoy the magic of Christmas together.  God has given us such an incredible perspective of gratitude, and we're embracing it with arms open wide.  We are just taking this day by day and thanking Him for each moment we have with this little guy and his big brother.

My OB called with the results of the ultrasound on Tuesday and explained the radiologist thought he saw a thickness to the sac the baby currently calls home, which could be a sign of an abnormal pregnancy.  My OB said she's still 50/50 on this and not sure whether this pregnancy will end up being a healthy one or not.  The Hubs and I know that God is bigger than 50/50, and since we know He is capable of making this a healthy pregnancy, that's what we're continuing to pray for.  We're praying that our little one will continue to develop and grow healthy and strong despite any obstacles along the way.  Please join us!  We know God has written all the days for this baby before one of them came to be, and we rest in the peace of that truth and will be rooting this little tike on as we wait to see God's plan unfold.

We've got lots of Decembering planned for this weekend.  Tonight I'm going to our church's women's ministry event to hear Tammy Trent speak and to eat some goodies with some good friends.  Tomorrow there's a Santa parade that a certain little boy gets to be in with his daddy.  They may or may not sport some matching lumberjack flannel shirts. If you're local, give my guys a wave and maybe Newbie will share some candy with you. =)

Wishing you all a happy Friday and thank you again for continuing to life our little one up in prayer!

Jubilee

I'd like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for praying for my family, and I'd like to introduce you to our "jubilee"- our Shout of Joy to the Lord!

I can't describe the emotion going into this morning- mostly because I couldn't feel much besides an incredible peace wrapped around the Hubs and I as we rested in knowing there were so many praying for our little one.  I truly cannot describe how humbled we are by how many of you have been praying for us and have let us know.  Thank you thank you thank you!

All my heart could utter was a "please please please" as we waited to find our baby on the screen, and almost right away we saw that little heart continuing to thump away! I'm telling you: this is nothing short of a miracle.  My body has been doing exactly what my doctor had warned me was headed towards miscarriage, and after what this pregnancy has looked like this past week, that heart should not have been beating.  But prayer changes things, and as the Hubs said, God must have some big plans for this "tough little buster". =)

One of my dear friends wrote the sweetest note saying she has been in constant prayer for our little one and that the Lord kept laying the term "jubilee" on her heart.  Do you know what "jubilee" means?  Well, lots.  But do you know what my favorite translation is?

Jubilee: Shout for joy

Are you kidding me?!  How incredibly perfect.

And as I dug into the term's history (thank you, Wikipedia) this brought buckets and buckets of tears:

"In the Biblical Book of Leviticus, the Jubilee year is mentioned to occur every fifty years, in which slaves and prisoners would be freed, debts would be forgiven and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest."

Oh, how we have seen His mercy today!

After the ultrasound tech left, I turned to the Hubs and said, "I just can't believe it. We don't deserve to get to keep this little one and there he is, snuggled away, heart beating beautifully.  So many people don't get to see a baby's heart beating on that screen- and there's no good reason why we got to. It's just grace.  That's all there is to it- it's just grace."

Grace.  Given far more than we need.  Heaps and heaps beyond what we deserve.  It's all grace, and we are shouting for joy today!

Remember how I said I go to the Psalms when I run out of words?  Well, I was sobbing through the Psalms last night and guess which Psalm I continued to read over and over and over?

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
 Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
 Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his;
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations.

As I sat here and made the connection between "jubilee" and the Psalm I clung to last night as I prayed for our sweet babe? Speechless.

Entering his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise today because the LORD is good. How touched we would be if you would continue to pray for our tough little guy.  This baby is beating the odds, and we would love to have you keep the prayers coming for his health and development.  We know that prayer changes things- that prayer moves the heart of God, and we would be so blessed by your continuing prayers. We want this baby to be our shout for joy for years and years and years. Thank you so much for standing in prayer with us as we root for this little one and continue to trust in God's timing, goodness, and plan, no matter what tomorrow holds.

Thank you, God, for today.

We have been so blessed by you all.  Thank you for getting on your knees and asking for grace- if we could hug each and every one of you, we would! It is my deepest hope that you know Jesus like we do- that you know the Jesus who sits with you in doctor's offices and holds your heart through the good news and the bad- the Jesus who brings together bands of people from across the country to pray for a little life in the womb only 8 weeks old- the Jesus who lavishes grace on us despite all the reasons we don't deserve it.  All is grace, and I pray you know His grace today, deep into the crevices of your heart as we have. 

And because this song encompasses so much of what we're feeling today:

Kleenex and Kazoos

It's a lot easier to blog about pregnancy when its all about the nausea and the Lucky Charms and the cute maternity clothes.  It's just not as easy to blog about pregnancy when its the tough stuff.  But I wanted to write tonight to ask for prayers for our littlest blessing as we go into tomorrow.

For the record, it'd be easier to wait three months and see where we're at and then fill the blog in on where we are and where we've been, but the momma in me can't bear the thought of passing up an opportunity to ask for prayer on my baby's behalf.  So I'm here.  And I'm asking for prayer.  Again. So many of you have been so encouraging and have reached out to say you're pulling for us, that I just couldn't let tomorrow go by without asking for some intercession.

The past few days have been a roller coaster.  Like a grab the box of kleenex and the kazoos because you're gonna be partying and crying and partying and crying kind of roller coaster.   One minute we're sure we've lost him, the next minute I'm all, "Ok, it looks like he might be hanging in there after all!"  To say that we're on our knees in submission is the understatement of the century.  We just have no control and no idea what is going to happen from one hour to the next.  My body's freaking out, but not enough to say its thrown in the towel.  So, on bended knee, we keep hoping and praying and rooting for a miracle.

Then I blow my nose because I cry a lot when I'm on my knees.  Then I eat some ice cream because it really does make me feel better and I'm still pregnant so no one can judge me for the calories.

Now you're wondering when I'm going to get to the point.  =)

We have an ultrasound tomorrow morning at 8.  We're still at a place where this could go either way- towards a healthy pregnancy or towards a loss, and we don't know whether our little one is Home or if he's still snuggling in for the long haul.  I'd love to ask for your prayers.  We would be so, so blessed by your prayers for our littlest kiddo.  We saw his little heart thumping away last week, and we would love to see that again so we know where we're at in all of this. (You know what I'd really love?  I'd love to stop being scared and to be holding a sweet little pink baby in July.)  At this point, the waiting has become an agonizing challenge, and we would love to gain some insight into where we're headed.   There's nothing we want more than to know that despite all the concerns of the past two weeks that our little one is here and well.  We'd be so blessed by your prayers that our little one is well and that this would progress into a healthy pregnancy. We know things could go the other way too, in which we'd still be grateful to know where this road is leading.  It's the waiting that's got me all tied up in knots.

We would so appreciate your prayers tonight and into the morning as we take a look at our little one.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to those of you who have said you're praying for our sweet baby and to those of you who will be lifting our little one up in prayer tonight.  We may know you, we may not, but we are so very grateful for your prayers on our behalf, and we love you to pieces for caring about our little baby. Thank you!!!

I've been dwelling in the Psalms this week because that's where I go when my spirit has no words- and if there's one thing that will take your words away, its the constant wondering if you'll get to hold your baby on this side of Heaven.

The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

We've experience His strength and peace firsthand the past week. I've been so blessed by all of the encouraging words and texts from sweet friends and family.  The hands of Jesus have touched us this week, and we've been renewed in strength and peace with each prayer and text message and voicemail. We feel so wrapped up in the love of Christ.  It's incredible- the kind of peace He brings in the midst of overwhelming obstacles.  Thank you for reminding us that His plans are good and that He loves us more than we can comprehend.  Those truths are a salve to the hurting soul, and I'm so thankful to be surrounded by so many who intercede for us and speak truth to us when the going gets tough.  Thanks for journeying with us here on the blog and in real life when its not all Lucky Charms and trips to the zoo and backyard barbecues and apple orchard hayrides.  You are awesome.

Newbie says hello and that he's got an awesome new upgrade on his box fort involving Christmas lights that he wants to show off the next time his momma pulls out the camera.  He just popped another tooth (7 now- we may not need dentures for him after all!) and he is talking up a storm.  This little guy is my sunshine on these gloomy and unsure days. Every time we pray, he wants to pray for "BAYbee", and I know he's grateful for the prayers for his little brother or sister too.  Thank you so, so much, sweet friends.

Wishing you a week that is blessed, and promising to come back and share when we know more.

Happy Monday!

Celebrating the Bright Spots

Sometimes life is just stinking hard.  When life gets hard, I cry a little, swipe a few hugs from a few of my favorite people, send out a few prayer requests via text message, and then I look around and drink in every single little blessing. Because you know what?  Despite the hard stuff, blessings are everywhere.

There was a whole lotta slurpin' the bottom of the glass yesterday.  Turkey Day delivered a wealth of blessings to be scooped up and savored to the last drop:

(Newbie helped G-Mama make the stuffing)

(And found himself some Cool Whip to eat off the counter...yum!) 

(Turkey Day was spent at G-Mama's and Grandad's with some of our favorite people.  Lots of food, lots of music, and lots of snuggling on Newbie- one of the best ways to spend a day!)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to so many of you who have been praying for my little family and our sweet baby.  Please keep the prayers coming as we're not sure where this road is headed, and, as many of you know, it's not an easy road to walk.  We're thanking God for our daily bread and taking it one day at a time.  Today was hard- each day is hard, actually- because we're really not sure whether our little one is still with us or not.  We're not sure what tomorrow will bring, but tomorrow has enough trouble of its own, so we're going to snuggle in tonight and give thanks for the bright spots in our day that outshine the unknown.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:33-34

Bright spot #256: Christmas tree gettin' with our little man.

 

Bright spot #257: Curious George attacks the Tupperware cabinet

Bright spot #258: Opie hugs in the morning sunshine

Bright spot #259: Gus Gus belly popping out of the jammies Grandad let Newbie pick out of the bottom of his jammie pile (Looks like Momma could stand to do a little closet overhaul in Newbie's room!)

 

(Thanks for the new jammies, Mutte!  They came just in time today because he's busting out of this Lightening McQueen set!)

I'm giving thanks for the bright spots.  For the joy and sunshine that comes with a healthy baby boy among a trillion other blessings that have landed in my lap.  The uncertainty of tomorrow, and the next day and the next, fade with the gratitude for today. Jesus, give us today.  Give us hearts and eyes to see the daily bread you've provided today, and let our hearts not be troubled as we see your goodness and provision for today- because it is then that we can rest in knowing your goodness and provision will come again tomorrow.

Let's have eyes to see, friends- to see that He is good.

Thanking Him for today, and praying your tomorrow is full of bright spots and blessing.

Happy Weekending!