Kleenex and Kazoos

It's a lot easier to blog about pregnancy when its all about the nausea and the Lucky Charms and the cute maternity clothes.  It's just not as easy to blog about pregnancy when its the tough stuff.  But I wanted to write tonight to ask for prayers for our littlest blessing as we go into tomorrow.

For the record, it'd be easier to wait three months and see where we're at and then fill the blog in on where we are and where we've been, but the momma in me can't bear the thought of passing up an opportunity to ask for prayer on my baby's behalf.  So I'm here.  And I'm asking for prayer.  Again. So many of you have been so encouraging and have reached out to say you're pulling for us, that I just couldn't let tomorrow go by without asking for some intercession.

The past few days have been a roller coaster.  Like a grab the box of kleenex and the kazoos because you're gonna be partying and crying and partying and crying kind of roller coaster.   One minute we're sure we've lost him, the next minute I'm all, "Ok, it looks like he might be hanging in there after all!"  To say that we're on our knees in submission is the understatement of the century.  We just have no control and no idea what is going to happen from one hour to the next.  My body's freaking out, but not enough to say its thrown in the towel.  So, on bended knee, we keep hoping and praying and rooting for a miracle.

Then I blow my nose because I cry a lot when I'm on my knees.  Then I eat some ice cream because it really does make me feel better and I'm still pregnant so no one can judge me for the calories.

Now you're wondering when I'm going to get to the point.  =)

We have an ultrasound tomorrow morning at 8.  We're still at a place where this could go either way- towards a healthy pregnancy or towards a loss, and we don't know whether our little one is Home or if he's still snuggling in for the long haul.  I'd love to ask for your prayers.  We would be so, so blessed by your prayers for our littlest kiddo.  We saw his little heart thumping away last week, and we would love to see that again so we know where we're at in all of this. (You know what I'd really love?  I'd love to stop being scared and to be holding a sweet little pink baby in July.)  At this point, the waiting has become an agonizing challenge, and we would love to gain some insight into where we're headed.   There's nothing we want more than to know that despite all the concerns of the past two weeks that our little one is here and well.  We'd be so blessed by your prayers that our little one is well and that this would progress into a healthy pregnancy. We know things could go the other way too, in which we'd still be grateful to know where this road is leading.  It's the waiting that's got me all tied up in knots.

We would so appreciate your prayers tonight and into the morning as we take a look at our little one.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to those of you who have said you're praying for our sweet baby and to those of you who will be lifting our little one up in prayer tonight.  We may know you, we may not, but we are so very grateful for your prayers on our behalf, and we love you to pieces for caring about our little baby. Thank you!!!

I've been dwelling in the Psalms this week because that's where I go when my spirit has no words- and if there's one thing that will take your words away, its the constant wondering if you'll get to hold your baby on this side of Heaven.

The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

We've experience His strength and peace firsthand the past week. I've been so blessed by all of the encouraging words and texts from sweet friends and family.  The hands of Jesus have touched us this week, and we've been renewed in strength and peace with each prayer and text message and voicemail. We feel so wrapped up in the love of Christ.  It's incredible- the kind of peace He brings in the midst of overwhelming obstacles.  Thank you for reminding us that His plans are good and that He loves us more than we can comprehend.  Those truths are a salve to the hurting soul, and I'm so thankful to be surrounded by so many who intercede for us and speak truth to us when the going gets tough.  Thanks for journeying with us here on the blog and in real life when its not all Lucky Charms and trips to the zoo and backyard barbecues and apple orchard hayrides.  You are awesome.

Newbie says hello and that he's got an awesome new upgrade on his box fort involving Christmas lights that he wants to show off the next time his momma pulls out the camera.  He just popped another tooth (7 now- we may not need dentures for him after all!) and he is talking up a storm.  This little guy is my sunshine on these gloomy and unsure days. Every time we pray, he wants to pray for "BAYbee", and I know he's grateful for the prayers for his little brother or sister too.  Thank you so, so much, sweet friends.

Wishing you a week that is blessed, and promising to come back and share when we know more.

Happy Monday!