But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14.13-14 (NLT)
My pastor shared this verse with me, and I couldn't have been more grateful for the timing. I can't describe what a relief those words are to my aching soul today. I just don't have anything left to give. Friday's appointment was so discouraging, and we had a long hard weekend emotionally combined with sweet Newbie getting Croup and battling an awful cough through the night several nights in a row. We woke up yesterday and today just exhausted. Nothing in the tank left to process, pray, or fight.
So when I read those words- that the Lord will fight for us and that we only need to stay calm, it was salve to the soul. Because there's nothing else I am capable of doing anyway. Nothing to do but stand still and watch the Lord rescue us today.
Oh, do we need a rescue.
Oh, do we need a rescue.
And you know what? He has rescued us. These days have gotten longer and harder, and as we've hit our breaking point, and I am capable of nothing but to stand still and watch, I see that our Rescuer has shown up. I'm writing down some of the things I've seen God do through others because I never want to forget His faithfulness to us and the ways we have seen Him be mighty to save us on this road.
Right now, the rescue looks like this:
Right now, the rescue looks like this:
I've gotten several comments and emails from far away friends who have heard Jubilee's story and have shared that they're praying for us. The woman who cut fabric for my grandmother in Texas is praying for us. A friend of a friend in Virginia is praying for us. From what I've been told, that's just the tip of the iceberg. There are just leagues of people praying for us and rooting for Jubilee, and there is such an encouraging warmth in that because the Hubs and I have run out of words to say. Our spirits have grown faint within us, and often when I pray I find myself just sitting before the Lord in silence. Because I don't have the words. But the rescue is there- its there in the scores of others who are interceding for us, and it is such a blessing- I rely so much on the comfort of knowing others have the words when I do not.
Friday night after I shared our horrible news with some of my close girlfriends, they ambushed me. One with a delicious crockpot of chili, and two with nail polish and an endless supply of chocolate and good company. Yes, there's nothing like a rescue in the form of fondue and hugs that speak volumes.
This is what friends are for:
(Yes, there were only three of us. I told you they were good friends.=])
We ate. And we cried. And we laughed. We laughed a lot. I was so thankful for the joy in the sorrow because Friday was a day when the joy had been hard to find. (...and we painted nails. Because when the going gets tough, the tough get home-job pedicures.)
Sunday we asked my in-laws if they would stop by with some Kleenex for Newbie and a couple cans of soup. They showed up with a trillion diapers, cold supplies, a slew of cookies and a hot lunch- complete with a cup of Panera's broccoli cheddar soup just for me. Praise the Lord for the rescue in the small things like your favorite soup on a bad day!
My parents have ordered a fetal heart doppler that should be arriving today so I can keep track of Jubilee's heartbeat and home. This will save me unnecessary trips into the doctor and will give us peace of mind while we try and determine if she's still with us and when we need to get up to the hospital. I may actually be able to sleep at night. Rescue, rescue, rescue.
My grandmother sewed a blanket for Jubilee that just radiates her love and has the aroma of everything I love about my grandparents just pouring from it. My mom has made a few hats for Jubilee to wear on her birthday. In two colors- pink for a girl, blue in case we've got ourselves a surprise boy(!). In various sizes. Because we don't know how big she'll be. And she cried with me at Babies 'R Us while we picked out a couple outfits in white and pink and blue for Jubi to wear. My baby will be wrapped in love and will have something sweet to wear- and when I said I needed two of each- one for her to stay in and one for a shadowbox to keep at home- Mom didn't hesitate to throw four tiny outfits in varying colors in the cart. Rescue.
My dear childhood friend who lost her sweet son at 17 weeks just before I lost Eden this summer sent me the most carefully worded letter to share the incredible news that she is expecting. She must have been scared to pieces writing to me, but I was so grateful she reached out and gave me a heads-up. I was anxious about how I'd feel when one of my close friends told me they were pregnant again, but there was such grace and love in her news, I didn't even flinch. I was so thankful she broke the ice. She will never know the rescue I found in her words- the courage and joy I drew from her new hope- and the excitement I have for her and her husband in this next chapter! There is rescue in redemption. There is rescue when He does a new thing!
When I walked in the door today, the woman who my parents have had cleaning my house for me had done at least three loads of laundry and folded them for me. In addition to a sparkling house. If you've been reading for a while, you know that laundry is NOT my gig, most especially at seven months pregnant. The stacks of clean clothes brought forth a Praise Jesus!, no doubt.
My girlfriend's mother-in-law knit (crocheted? oh gosh...she's gonna get me for not knowing which because I was informed that one is way cooler than the other, and now I can't remember which is which!) a beautiful prayer shawl for me, putting a prayer in every stitch and writing the most encouraging and heartfelt letter to go with it. The best part? There was one for me and one for Jubilee. Oh, the tears. Oh the beauty in being loved by someone you don't know well. Oh, the rescue.
One of my girlfriends has made a meal for me once a week for the past two+ months. Today she called to say her and her husband are setting me up with an express checkout/delivery at our local grocery store. This means I can order all my groceries online and will spare me from waddling down the aisles and pulling Newbie in and out of the car seat in addition to loading a trillion bags of groceries. And all the people said, "Amen".
A friend living (way too) far away called in Chinese food for the Hubs and I Saturday night. I have never known the power of a hot meal until two months ago, and I can tell you this: orange chicken and rice had never tasted better. The same friend wrote the sweetest note to me about how she's seen me grow in the past several months. Words of encouragement from someone who knows me so well- such a blessing.
I can't be the momma I want to be for Newbie right now, and when I asked my sister through tears to come and spend some special time with him, she jumped at coming out for the day yesterday. She took us to the park and blew me out of the water, sliding with Newbie and climbing in and out of the playground with him. He got to play with someone who loves him as much as I do the way I haven't been able to play with him in a while, and I loved watching him run and laugh and squeal. Rescued at the alligator park by someone who looks a lot like me and who loves my little boy like I do. Joy.
****
The list of rescues goes on and on and on. I know I haven't even begun to write about them all here because there are simply too very many to count. Our grandparents, our small group, our pastors, my blog readers, sweet people at church, parents of friends, strangers, friends of friends of friends- there's no way to fit it all into a post because its just an endless outpouring of love. But I wanted to catch a few- because I want to remember what it looks like to love someone well- to assist in the Lord's rescue.
Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today.
So many of you have been a rescue to us and continue to throw out a lifeline. It doesn't make the pain go away, but oh, how we can see Jesus in the notes and the dinners and the phone calls and the laundry and the kind words and the hugs. It is so beautiful and comforting to watch Him rescue us today.
Thank you for listening as He assigns you to the rescue. He's breathing the breath of life into us through you.
And then there's the two rescuers under my own roof.
Newbie curled up next to me on the couch, linked his arm in mine and said in the softest, sweetest little voice, "Hi Mommy. I wuv yew" through his binky before resting his head against my side. Then he leaned in to give Jubilee a hug. Sweet Jesus, the beauty of the rescue you gave to me in that boy. I love to see Newbie loving on Jubilee. I love that she's a part of us like that.
The Hubs has been a wellspring of unending help. Laundry, dishes, diapers, bathtime, bedtime, holding me, holding me, holding me, and looking deep into my eyes with complete understanding when I tell him how much I wish this would all go away and how much I want to be faithful, but how desperately I want God to just fix our baby. The strength I draw from his quiet servant heart can't be put into words. I am so, so blessed to experience the Lord rescuing me through my husband.
My grandmother sewed a blanket for Jubilee that just radiates her love and has the aroma of everything I love about my grandparents just pouring from it. My mom has made a few hats for Jubilee to wear on her birthday. In two colors- pink for a girl, blue in case we've got ourselves a surprise boy(!). In various sizes. Because we don't know how big she'll be. And she cried with me at Babies 'R Us while we picked out a couple outfits in white and pink and blue for Jubi to wear. My baby will be wrapped in love and will have something sweet to wear- and when I said I needed two of each- one for her to stay in and one for a shadowbox to keep at home- Mom didn't hesitate to throw four tiny outfits in varying colors in the cart. Rescue.
My dear childhood friend who lost her sweet son at 17 weeks just before I lost Eden this summer sent me the most carefully worded letter to share the incredible news that she is expecting. She must have been scared to pieces writing to me, but I was so grateful she reached out and gave me a heads-up. I was anxious about how I'd feel when one of my close friends told me they were pregnant again, but there was such grace and love in her news, I didn't even flinch. I was so thankful she broke the ice. She will never know the rescue I found in her words- the courage and joy I drew from her new hope- and the excitement I have for her and her husband in this next chapter! There is rescue in redemption. There is rescue when He does a new thing!
When I walked in the door today, the woman who my parents have had cleaning my house for me had done at least three loads of laundry and folded them for me. In addition to a sparkling house. If you've been reading for a while, you know that laundry is NOT my gig, most especially at seven months pregnant. The stacks of clean clothes brought forth a Praise Jesus!, no doubt.
My girlfriend's mother-in-law knit (crocheted? oh gosh...she's gonna get me for not knowing which because I was informed that one is way cooler than the other, and now I can't remember which is which!) a beautiful prayer shawl for me, putting a prayer in every stitch and writing the most encouraging and heartfelt letter to go with it. The best part? There was one for me and one for Jubilee. Oh, the tears. Oh the beauty in being loved by someone you don't know well. Oh, the rescue.
One of my girlfriends has made a meal for me once a week for the past two+ months. Today she called to say her and her husband are setting me up with an express checkout/delivery at our local grocery store. This means I can order all my groceries online and will spare me from waddling down the aisles and pulling Newbie in and out of the car seat in addition to loading a trillion bags of groceries. And all the people said, "Amen".
A friend living (way too) far away called in Chinese food for the Hubs and I Saturday night. I have never known the power of a hot meal until two months ago, and I can tell you this: orange chicken and rice had never tasted better. The same friend wrote the sweetest note to me about how she's seen me grow in the past several months. Words of encouragement from someone who knows me so well- such a blessing.
I can't be the momma I want to be for Newbie right now, and when I asked my sister through tears to come and spend some special time with him, she jumped at coming out for the day yesterday. She took us to the park and blew me out of the water, sliding with Newbie and climbing in and out of the playground with him. He got to play with someone who loves him as much as I do the way I haven't been able to play with him in a while, and I loved watching him run and laugh and squeal. Rescued at the alligator park by someone who looks a lot like me and who loves my little boy like I do. Joy.
****
The list of rescues goes on and on and on. I know I haven't even begun to write about them all here because there are simply too very many to count. Our grandparents, our small group, our pastors, my blog readers, sweet people at church, parents of friends, strangers, friends of friends of friends- there's no way to fit it all into a post because its just an endless outpouring of love. But I wanted to catch a few- because I want to remember what it looks like to love someone well- to assist in the Lord's rescue.
Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today.
So many of you have been a rescue to us and continue to throw out a lifeline. It doesn't make the pain go away, but oh, how we can see Jesus in the notes and the dinners and the phone calls and the laundry and the kind words and the hugs. It is so beautiful and comforting to watch Him rescue us today.
Thank you for listening as He assigns you to the rescue. He's breathing the breath of life into us through you.
And then there's the two rescuers under my own roof.
Through this journey, I'm learning so much about how God works through other people to bring us closer to Himself- to remind us that He's here and He is good and He loves loves loves us. And I'm taking notes. Because when I'm on the other side of this, and I have something to give again, I'm going to look for ways I can help the Lord rescue others. Because I'm learning that there is so much power in the rescue. I don't think He needs us for the rescue- I know He is big enough to rescue on His own- but I know He delights in us when we love Him and when we love our neighbor, and when we assist in the rescue- we do just that.
So when I can breathe again, when I can think beyond how to put one foot in front of the other, I want to start each day asking God, who can I help you rescue today? (And then I'm going to remind Him that I'm not good at laundry but that I'm willing to do anything else that might help whoever it is He asks me to help. =]) Because there is so much power in the rescue.
In the meantime, I'm going to do all I can do: Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue me today.
And I'm going to thank Him for all of you who are assisting Him in the rescue. And I'm going to thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So when I can breathe again, when I can think beyond how to put one foot in front of the other, I want to start each day asking God, who can I help you rescue today? (And then I'm going to remind Him that I'm not good at laundry but that I'm willing to do anything else that might help whoever it is He asks me to help. =]) Because there is so much power in the rescue.
In the meantime, I'm going to do all I can do: Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue me today.
And I'm going to thank Him for all of you who are assisting Him in the rescue. And I'm going to thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You write so beautifully Brittany! This may end up being your purpose though all of this! Btw.....your prayer shawl is crocheted, but I actually say I knit things when I really crochet them! So no matter.....it was most definitely put together with many pleading prayers with each stitch, to our gracious Father on your behalf and of Jubi and the fam!! I continue to pray that God gives you everything you need to wake up each day and bathe in the rescue of his love and the love that he has placed in other people's hearts for you! Strive for nothing sweetheart. Simply be still.
ReplyDeleteAnother fabulous verse along those same lines was given to me by a dear friend, when we were waiting hard and long on the adoption of Anna is:
1 Samuel 12:16
"Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your very eyes!"
Whatever he does is great, even if it is painful....but standing still and letting Him do it before your very eyes is the key.....wait on Him, let Him be great while you are weak.
With Love and prayers for you!
Debbie Buckingham
Praying each and every day.
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