It looked like spilled half & half...

...Because it was.

One of my joys in the morning is brewing a warm cup of "I wish this wasn't decaf" coffee and pouring in an torrent of half & half and sugar.

So this morning I had my mug out on the counter and was ready to curl up on the couch to watch some Regis and Kelly when somehow the half & half jumped off the counter and proceeded to pour itself all over my dining room floor. Which is carpet.

Words like

*(&#^%!

and

enzymes!

and

E-Coli!

went flying through my brain, but since I didn't know what they meant, I just said "dangit!" and ran around the kitchen frantically throwing my arms up in the air for a few minutes before I decided a towel would be a good idea.

When I got to the scene of the crime, I realized Opie had assumed full clean-up duty STAT. He was all over that spill like stank on a monkey. I threw the towel on the floor in an effort to help. He scoffed at me as if he had been working for Merry Maids all his life and continued in his clean-up endeavors.

While he licked, I decided I should Google how to get milk out of carpeting because words like E-Coli and enzymes and bacteria scare me.

I found a website that said to use dish detergent and warm water. I figured if my Palmolive can kill the salmonella in my ground beef, then it can probably handle some E-Coli too. So we went for it. (You can just ignore the pile of dishes. I am waiting for the dish fairies to show up because I have things on my list that are just more fun to do than unload and reload the dishwasher today.)

After applying the soap to the carpet, I realized my efforts were futile because, thanks to Opie's haz-mat training, the milk was gone, and I couldn't tell where it had landed in the first place. So I resorted to my end-all be-all method of germ killing:

When in doubt, pull out the Clorox disinfectant spray and go to town. That aerosol can is the best $3.99 I've ever spent.

Turns out everything is OK because my coffee was still warm when me and my Bio-Hazard guru had finished, and I remembered the Hubs had flowers waiting for me last night when I got home. Sigh. He is such a winner.