'Twas the week before Christmas

This afternoon we took some 23 week pics of my baby belly. My little man is 11.8 inches long this week, which we determined to be about the same size as the snowboarding Santa we had under the tree. That explains a few things. Namely, why it is getting so difficult to bend over. Or walk.

Looking at the picture did two things.
1) I began to seriously rethink the chicken nugget meal I downed at McD's last night 2) a little rhyme came to mind. I modified some of the rhyme in my head to fit our particular circumstances.

For your reading pleasure:

'Twas the week before Christmas
when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse ;(Except at our house. Where there were most definitely mice and probably a bat too.)

The stockings were hung by the chimney (furnace) with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; (With The Pioneer Woman's Cookbook and an iTunes card)

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,(Mom's belly?)

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;(Fine. As long as Christmas cookies qualify as "sugar-plums")

And momma in her 'kerchief ,(or super stretchy flannel PJ's) and I in my cap,(or underwear)

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.(...and tripped on all the stuff from the nursery that is crammed into our bedroom for the weekend while we re-carpet Baby's room)

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! (I can never remember those in the right order.)
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney (furnace?) St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur,(I have to believe that "fur" here implies velour. Good choice, Santa.) from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, (He really shouldn't smoke, should he?)
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

...and this is when I started to relate to Santa more than I would like.

She had a broad face and a little round belly,(thank you McDonald's chocolate shakes)



That shook, when she laughed like a bowlful of jelly...

She was chubby and plump, a right jolly ol' elf,



And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself; (Even though she was me.)



A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,(And then I stopped relating to Santa because I have never been good at winking and twisting my head at the same time.Thank goodness.)

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"