DIY gone wrong. So very, very wrong.

Throughout the work week, the Hubs and I exchange emails to wish one another a good day and negotiate various family plans like "What's for dinner?", or "When do you want to get groceries?" or "Please wash some clothes so I have something to wear tomorrow." Today I wrote the Hubs an email updating him on the daily happenings since I'm off work and at home "getting lots of stuff done." The definition of "getting lots of stuff done" is really in the eye of the beholder here. Today it means going to my 34 week appointment, listening to some seriously good Tim McGraw tunes while tending to the organization of the place mats, and a home improvement project.

The Hubs is not a fan of my DIY stints because it often involves a drill and lots of masking tape on our old plaster walls. I don't know why this stresses him out. Maybe something to do with the multiple holes in the wall or the thought of his woman running around the house in her PJ's with a power tool in hand. Hard to say. Anyway, bottom line is, I haven't been banished from home improvement projects, but the Hubs is not a fan and breaks out into a sweat dreading the worst any time he finds out I'm up to something. Today was one of those days when the Hubs was gone, and I broke out the drill. Here's the email:

Dear Hubs,

"Umm...how do I put this?

I tried two home improvement projects today. It appears I have lost my touch. My DIY skills have seemingly disappeared since I gained these 35 pounds, and I need a man with some muscles and some drilling abilities to come to my rescue.

The two screws. The four holes. Let's not worry about the details.

The important thing here is that there is a damsel in distress in need of a bulletin board hung in the nursery and a wooden sign hung in the stairwell. And perhaps two screws rescued from the depths of the wall because I have no idea how to get them out of the centimeter deep hole they have gorged themselves into. It may also be worthy of noting that I was relatively impressed with my own strength when both screws propelled themselves and part of the drill entirely into the plaster. Relatively impressive considering my diet and lack of physical exercise lately. Home improvement disaster or not, I'm just saying. Impressive.

Luckily, I have you. My man with muscles and drilling abilities. Unfortunately, the Saturday morning Honey Do List just got a little longer. Sorry. I tried to spare you, but there really isn't a point in me catapulting another screw into the wall. With my current track record, it may just fly clear through the kitchen and out the back door.

Please don't let this stress you out. I promise to put down the drill and back away slowly.

And I hope our Olive Garden dinner date is still on. Cuz you were lookin' good this morning, Mister.

Love,

Wifey"