Diary of a Maid of Honor: Edition Sunless Tanner, here I come!

In only 39 days my beautiful kid sister will be getting married to this guy:

I know what you're thinking, and all I can say is, I don't know what she was thinking. The only explanation I can offer is that this is her:

And they are two peas in a pod.

This is what he looked like when I met him. Back then he was just my boyfriend's brother. And may I point out the HAIR.

Yes. My boyfriend who turned into my fiance who turned into my husband's brother. Yes. My sister is marrying my husband's brother. Yes. We like to keep the family tree tight around here, and no, we're not entirely sure it's legal. Just kidding. We are pretty sure on account of I had a little freak-out when I realized they were getting serious so I performed some intricate online research via Google (y'all know how I like to do that if you read my post about self-diagnosing my postpartum hives) and found out that it is less than beyond a shadow of a doubt an OK plan.

So in 39 days they will get married. At the zoo. Because they are animal lovers, both grew up playing with The Littlest Pet Shop, and because who doesn't want to get married in front of a couple pumas and a gang of monkeys? I know I do. Or did. Or whatever. They are also pug lovers, so I'm not sure what made them opt for the zoo over the pug puppy mill, but the zoo it is. I jest. About the puppy mill. Not about the pug love. See?

The pug lovers are getting hitched at the zoo, and I am so excited for them. It's going to be an incredible wedding, and my little family has landed a few spots in the cast.

Me: MOHO (maid of honor). Roles and responsibilities: plan Bachelorette party, give a toast, attend showers, do lots of wedding stuff with the bride.
The Hubs: Best Man. Roles and responsibilities:Show up to the bachelor party with some beer and video games
Newbie: Ring bearer. Roles and responsibilities: Sit there and look cute.

I thought it would be fun to keep a little diary of my experiences as the Moho since this is sure to be the wedding of the year. We'll start with this past weekend. First shower on the agenda was Sunday afternoon. Here's the lovely bride-to-be:

Gosh. She is so stinking cute, eh? And here's a picture illustrating my dilemma:

Dilemma:
A)Whoa. Action shots are rarely flattering.
B)What. Happened. To. The. Tan. I. Got. In. The. Caribbean. Last. Fall? GOOD NIGHT! We are going to have to remedy this situation, as the bridesmaid dress is short, and I have no time to lay out on the beach what with this baby to love and diaper and feed and all. Next item on the MOHO agenda: start experimenting with sunless tanner. Oh, Heavens. This never works out well for me. One time I wore sunless tanner for Valentine's Day while dating the Hubs and he was nauseated and suffering of a headache by the end of the night on account of I STANK like a monkey wearing artificial tanner. If you see an orange person reeking of tan in a can and walking around in sweatpants and a pony tail in the very near future, that's me.
C) Bonus: If you look closely you can see that I am struggling to breathe through the strangulation induced by the Spanx I wrote about earlier this week.

Aside from the pale and pastey issue, things are going well. I have the Bachelorette invites and party planning done, and I have effectively managed to kind of fit into the bridesmaid dress in the pre-fitting trial run. Now I'm on to helping Mom with wedding tidbits on the weekends and shopping for the happy couple's wedding gift. I'm thinking of blowing up this pic on a large canvas for them to hang over their bed to commemorate our twisted relationship as siblings and in-laws. Siblaws. Or something. What do you think?

Me too. So I'm thinking I'll go with this instead.
(Avanti greeting card)
Until next time, this is the Moho, signing out.