You're gonna get a spankin'

Dear Spanx,

Thanks for agreeing to come to the shower with me this afternoon. I'm impressed with what you've done to this outfit. You may be my escape from Jillian Micheals and her 6-week workout plan.

Would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night?

...I think I might be in love with you.

Sincerely,

Your postpartum friend

UPDATED:

Dear Spanx,

Four hours and a lot of tight spandex induced nausea later, I'm going to have to re-think this relationship.

I can barely breathe.

Sincerely,

Your postpartum friend